07.06.13
Dear Ana,
Right now, I feel like crying myself to sleep or just cutting until my memory and skin goes numb. Everyday, everyday I have to deal with at least one negative comment about myself from another person.
"You really are so fat."
"Everyone can eat except her because she might end up eating everything."
"I swear you're so annoying. It's like you don't think most of the time."
"Wow you've gained weight. Look at those arms. They even jiggle."
"Why are you so useless?"
And the list goes on. I don't understand how they don't see how much that hurts my feelings. I get that I am naturally sensitive but seriously? I haven't cut in so long but my hands are itching for it. I feel so alone. So alone and so fat and so useless. Why can't I just be perfect? I can't do anything right. But I'm going to change that. I'm going to show them that I'm not ugly or fat or useless. And I'm going to start with my weight. My goal right now is 100 pounds. I promise you Ana, I can be pretty, too.
