His Collection

THRITY-ONE

We never did go back. Instead he freely spoke about his mother to me while we dozed off in our private moments. I'd run to him if I felt too lonely to bare, or if Alice was in one her 'I am going to kill you' moods yet sometimes I just found myself walking up to his rooms even when he wasn't there. And when he was, he always cooed me, and never waivered when all I asked was to just be held.

My head rested on his chest while he used his fingers to weave a quilt through my long hair. Faintly I muttered that he was lucky.

"And how am I?" He asked while I used my elbow to rise my upper body. My breasts spilled over his abs as I stretched to meet his eyes.

"You have a mother. I don't know where mine is."

The silence afterwards confused me. Lance only stared back as if I were playing a game, and once he realized I had meant what I'd said, he kissed my temple, and slid his lips to my ear, "I wonder why out of the two, you became such a sweet, innocent thing."

He let my head press onto his palm. Closing my eyes, I smile not sure of the compliment, then giggle after he jerked his free hands to my waist, lifting me up to him. Our noses touch, and I almost go cross-eyed staring into his eyes.

"Became?" Haven't I always been me?" I ask, and he grins with a playful growl quietly while sucking in my lips. I laugh, and curl my bare legs into his stomach. He takes a bit of his sheets to cover my naked form, then used his hands to weigh me into him even more.

"There was a time you used to be a little bit too violent."

When it came out his mouth, I almost froze. It seemed as if he was telling a story of someone else. It sounded far away, like one of the fairytales in his books that we'd read together during the cold nights.

"I couldn't have been." I answered back. Rolling off him, I cross my brows. "I don't remember ever-"

"It's all right," he cuts me off, and squeezes my legs with his arm. The hairs rose on my neck as his lips pecked at my shoulder. "Forget it."

Of course I will. I look away as he keeps his lips on me. "How come some things I can remember while others I can't?"

"Not again, Blanca," he rests his cheek on my neck while embracing me. "We've talked about this."

"I know, sorry."

"Tsk, don't use that sad tone, Blanca." Lance's cupped my face, then sitting fully upwards, he bent his neck to his me, making sure sadness was not be on my lips any longer.

The house, though small, did help us all make it through the small snow days. The fireplace toasted our home, yet my body found itself constantly being set on fire by Lance. Since the last leaf had fallen, and the first sheet of white glistened over the lands, I have been sharing his bed. Not that I would be the one to always walk to his room; most of the time it was Lance who would carry my sleeping body up to his room to simply keep watch me sleep besides him. He had said it once before, and again he chose to cast those words.

"I love you," he pronounced it gently while I closed my eyes.

My heart pounded as my cheeks burned through the bit of timid whispers I kept inside. I wanted to say it, too, but there was a voice that guarded my mouth, commanding me to not utter the same words. My hands wrapped themselves on his wrists.

Love. Do I even know if I have a memory about what love was?

Parting my lips, I open my eyes enough to only see a slight bit of his glazed eyes.

Don't say it.

"I think, I lo-" Before I could say the rest, something heavy was knocked over down below, and things were being scattered across the floor. I lift the sheets to my chest and snap my head around to the door, "Alice?"

Lance holds me back from standing. "Stay here, and lock the door. She's having another fit." He rose from bed, and while pulling up his jeans, leaned over and surprised me with another kiss on my forehead. "Don't be scared, my butterfly."

My butterfly. I was pleased with that name just as I was frightened by it.

You know what he does to those, right.

Pins them up.

You're dead.

The last comment made me get on my knees. By the time I looked around, Lance had left. Shouts from Alice were starting to stir up through the floor boards, quickly I jumped out of bed, then changed back into my favorite dress; the white one.

His room was lining up to the walls with books, and his desk was stacked with mason jars, each containing an insect or two. As the noise downstairs seemed to grow, I found myself opening a drawer. Why? I wasn't sure, but I felt as if I had some right to go through whatever he kept in his room. It was a room he had freely invited me into, so why not?

The devices inside startled me.

"Cell...phones," I said while holding one up. It was battered, and crumbling in my hands. turning it around, I saw the batteries had been removed. "I remember these."

"No!" Alice screamed to the top of her lungs, then a window must had been smashed. Swiftly placing everything back in place, I took small, quick steps out and down the corridor till I reached the stairs. With my back and hands to the wall, I leaned down to hear what she was fussing about.

"Alice, why did you do that" Lance's tone was colder than the snow out front, and she noticed. Alice quickly snapped back, but he continued. "The cold will get in now."

"Like it fucking matters! She doesn't even sleep here anymore, she sleeps with you!"

They spoke back and forth as I crossed my brows trying to focus. Twisting my lips I then figured they were in my room. I slowly walk down the stairs, and halt once I am half to the first floor.

"Why are you behaving like such a child?" Lance spoke without acknowledging her screams; his tone stayed impassive, and even I was feeling guilty his lack of affection towards her.

"Because you don't love me, not like before! You used to love me, me, me, only me! Now you just like her!"

"Alice."

"No! She can go anywhere, upstairs with you, and I can't!" Her voice cracks as she starts crying. "I came back, Lance. Remember, I ran away once, but I came right back! I chose you! Let her go, and you'll see she won't do the same! She's so stupid now, she doesn't even remember anything from before!"

"Enough, Alice. Go to your room."

"Or what? You'll send me to the Bad Box?! Even you won't send me out in the cold."

"Try me."

There was a long pause, and I was dying to know what exactly their expressions were. As I took another step down, I a shadow darted out from my room.

"I'll go play, then!" Alice yelled back to Lance, and didn't see me in hidden in the dark upper stairs. I thanked my luck, then walked back towards Lance's room. Destroying my room didn't affect me as she would have thought, but I did feel sorry for her. She just wanted things to be like before.

"Before I arrived?" I questioned the notion, and furrowed my brows trying to see just how far back my head would take me.