Rooming With Ash

Rooming With Ash: Chapter 9

The sound of Asia's laughter woke me up the next morning, and I could feel my eyes rolling in their sockets before I even opened them. I didn't understand how she could be so energetic and upbeat after last night while I was as hungover as Rick Sanchez on a bad day.

I sat up with groan, looking over to see in Ash still happened to be in bed. He wasn't.

Unsurprised, I checked the time and found that it was already 12:15 PM, which meant that people were no doubt already out and about, exploring or whatever else they wanted to do. I couldn't hear any other voices apart from that of Asia's so it was safe to assume that not many other people were around. Nobody in the group was a particularly late sleeper, and since they all seemed to get to bed before Asia and I had, it didn't come as a shock that we would be the last ones lingering around in the house.

Before I did anything today, I knew that I needed to take a shower, first and foremost. I felt gross and groggy from the night before and even though I couldn't remember everything, I knew enough to feel the need to scrub myself raw.

I remembered getting shitfaced well enough – the pregame was the clearest (and most sober) part of the night. I also remembered dancing with Brian, making out with him, and Asia pulling me off of him. I remembered Brian's alcohol breath, the cute girl behind the bar, and stumbling home only to have Ash put me to bed. I remembered the entire chronology of the night like I was watching a movie on fast forward. It was all there. The only thing I couldn't remember, was a single thing I had said.

I could see the memories of people speaking to me in my head – their faces, their mouths, everything – but I couldn't hear a thing they were saying. I could feel myself, talking back to them, but I couldn't figure out what the words that I had spoken were.

I remembered – Ash, picking me up off the floor, holding me to his body. I remembered caressing his face, looking into his eyes. I remembered him, laying me on my bed and watching me do whatever it was that I was doing. And when I saw his mouth open in my memories, no sound came out. I could see his lips moving, but it was like they were speaking in a different language and I wanted to scream. I felt like I was sitting inside a closed box with glass windows, screaming for help without anyone being able to see me.

What had happened last night?

The look that was in the Ash of my memory's eyes was not a look that I saw on him often – ever, really.

My face felt tight as I squeezed my eyes shut, and when I reached up to touch it, I felt dried tears, crusted on the cheeks.

I hadn't remembered crying.

I got up and went into the bathroom, my head hurting more and more with every step. Both from the hangover and from the circles my mind was doing trying to remember the little details from last night. Details that I feared may have been lost to me for good.

The shower I took was ice cold. I was already used to taking fairly cold showers since the orphanage had what I was sure were the worst water heaters in the entire first world, but this was different. The water wasn't tepid or lukewarm, it was stingingly icy and exactly what I needed. I could feel my head clearing up as the water hit my skin, and even though I could barely move since my body wasn't adjusting very well to the temperature, the clarity I was gaining was worth it. Anything to remember the things that were said last night.

The Ash in my memories looked so vulnerable – his emotions more unguarded than I'd ever seen them before. I needed to know what I had said to get him that way. And I needed to know what he'd said to me when he was in that state. It wasn't likely he'd ever repeat them.

"Keira!"

I heard Asia's voice sing-song into my room as the door slammed behind it. I turned off the shower, stepping out into the frigid air of the bathroom with another wince as she banged on bathroom door.