No, it isn't [On-Hold]

Prologue

      The first time I kissed a girl was at my older sister's first Saturday-night party three years ago. Aida was what I always aspired to be when I became a teenager; beautiful, popular and a cheerleader.

      "Is that your sister?" Aida's then-boyfriend, Jess Michaels asked as eyed from bottom to top. Being from a puertorican family, I always knew that I would develop faster than the gringas, but I never knew it would be this fast.

       "Stop staring at my lil' sis, papi." She purred into his ear as she wrapped an arm around his waist. His eyes were yanked from me and immediatly glued to my sister.

      "Good," I whispered. I didn't like his greedy blue eyes, they made my skin crawl. I looked around the room and I rolled my eyes; I didn't understand the appeal of these parties. They're filled with hormoned-teenagers influenced by free alcohol, I swear to God I saw three couples dry-humping to reggaeton music.

     I climbed the stairs of my own house feeling like a stranger. The smoke and fog that vaguely smelled like marijuana surrounding my two-story house was making me dizzy. I managed to stumble into my room to find Brinna McKenzie and Felix Coors savagely making out in my bed.

     "Fuck," I whispered. The couple completly unaware of my presence continued as I slowly closed the door and headed towards the only place under lock-and-key; my parents room.

      Taking the key from my back pocket, I slowly opened the door and sighed in relief when it was empty. I entered and locked the door. I sat on the queen sized bed and tried to regain my composture.

      When I heard a soft sob coming from the closet I felt anger boil in me. "Damn it, how the fuck did you--"

      I didn't get to finish the sentence because of the little brunette girl in my parents closet. her light brown eyes were rimmed with red, as if she'd been crying. Her tussled white shirt was smeared with mascara, like she had been wiping herself with it. "A-Are you okay?"

      Yeah," She said as she slowly stood up, taking my extended arm. Her eyes locked with mine and I quickly looked away, feeling the heat in my cheeks. "I'm sorry for crashing here, I got scared when I smelled the drugs, so I climbed up to the only room I knew would be empty... I'm sorry." When she finally finished, she took a deep breath and sat down the bed. "Sorry I talk so much, it's just... wow, you're Carla, aren't you?"

    My blush deepened. "Yeah, why?"

       "The cheerleading squad is so excited for you to try out when you enter freshman year. They say you'll be a perfect replacement for your sister if the talent runs in the family." She smiled and I felt my heart flutter.

      "I hadn't thought about joining the cheers," I lied. "But I guess I could give it a shot." I smiled and saw a blush creeping on her freckled cheeks. "What's your name?"

"Amy," She said as I sat down next to her. I felt the light taste of the Lemon Smirnoff I drinked earlier kick in and I started to feel dizzy. I took her face between my hands and softly kissed her lips.

      Kissing Amy was so different. Her didn't roam my body in desperation as Roger's did when he kissed me. Her strawberry lip-gloss made me want to sink in her taste and never resurface. I slowly pulled her down the bed and she placed her arms around my neck.

      "Is this our little secret?" She whispered between kisses and I laughed; not in a macking way, but in a sweet, loving way.

       "Yes, yes is it." And with those words, I had sealed what blossomed into a one-year secret relantionship.

      We entered the ninth-grade together, between the lockers we would say nice things to eachother and in between classes we'd sneak into the janitor's closet.

     On the summer before the tenth grade, we had to break our relationship because Amy had to move back to Georgia because of her father's business. I'll always remember the last day we spent together... it is one of the most bittersweet days of my life. We had stayed in her room all day, kissing, watching movies and reminisce.

       "Carly," She whispered to me between the sheets. Our legs were tangled together and I felt tears cascading down her cheeks. "I'm going to miss you so much."

      I closed my eyes and did what I felt in my heart was right to do, I prepared myself for this. I opened my eyes and said what neither one of us said during the year of our relationship. "I love you, Amy..."

    Her eyes widened and she quickly stood up, covering herself with her purple comforter. "G-Get out." She whispered.

     I felt my own eyes grow wide. "A-Amy..." I stood up, quickly putting back on my purple sundress. "W-What's wrong?"

    "You." She said. "I'm leaving tomorrow and now you're telling me this?!"

  "I-I'm sorry..." I felt my own tears cascade down. "Amy don't--- don't you love me too?"

     "No, Carla. I--I can't!" She fell to her knees and clutched her brown locks between her fingers. I closed in on her. "No," She whispered. "Just get out..."

And with that I left; a broken heart, a crushed soul and the last of my nice personality in the clutched hands of the one girl I ever loved.