Feeling is a Tempting Beast
By Dillon Collins
Feeling is a tempting beast....
I realize my current reality is insanity. Becoming oddly comfortable with at least three close calls where I almost die. Every day... Nearly driving off the road or falling asleep, or being squashed between two semis when I get just a little overzealous with my passing skills as I motor along this long, long, highway in my 2002 dodge neon piece of trash that I hope rattles together just long enough to get me to the end of 4,235 miles where I have a girlfriend waiting for me.
I am on a road trip.
A road trip from Alaska to Kansas because I met the woman of my dreams at that little college by the the sea.
Who says dreams aren't made of blond hair, perfect blue eyes and scarfs? You are the reason that I decided I was just optimistic and sick of living at home enough,... That I would pack all of my baggage and scars into my only method of transportation to the crazy, scary, exciting? prospect of living at your parents house, with no job in my future.
I already knew... from a week from the day that I first met you that I wanted to make you my wife. But as I made sure to tell you often. I'm slow. I am careful. I am so overly cautious to the point of never moving that I feared in my head I would never be with anyone... Let alone the woman of my dreams.
You are the sky that made me want to be a kid again so I would actually have time to lay in my front yard after I've gotten tired of running through the sprinkler and stare at the blue, observing with the all the wonder that my ten year old mind can muster, the creatures of the clouds....
Your dad is the coolest future father in law I have ever met. He took the long bet on me... Gave me a good word so I'm working at a decent job. Your brother is the best future brother in law that I could ever hope for. Finding me an awesome party barn to make my home... Our home, I hoped....
Your best friend, (of the female persuasion). Is an incredible ring shopping partner. She was one sneaky beastly partner in crime. Meriting us amazing results. So a week later when I was holding the worldly symbol of my love for you, I thought, this is perfect.
I really really wanted to wait for the perfect moment, fireworks would have been nice, but I decided that I couldn't wait. And when I caught you by surprise on the front porch of your house you looked like the new version of my life. Still wearing your apron from all the pre-Christmas confectionary baking, I knew in some small part of my mind as I forgot all the lines and stumbled through my awkward proposal that you, were a good cook.
Your reaction was perfect. I don't think it was an accident that it was the only time before or since that I have ever seen you speechless. I took is as a good sign when you said yes, so being the most loquacious man that I know.... I said thank you.
So here I find us, ticking down the days, hours, minutes and seconds until the time that we can finally, finally, begin to grow old together and know in our deepest wildest heart wishes that we have have found the person that we will be with until the day that we die. A person to experience this wonderful adventure of life with. Maybe settle down and make a family and give this whole "circle of life" thing a try.
Forever... That's how long I promise I'll be there for you. And I know it sounds incredibly presumptuous of me to make such a statement, but it isn't to me, because you, dear dear, woman of my dreams, are my forever. I love you...
