Worthy and True

Chapter 5

When she thought back on it afterwards, making the announcement to her family about her engagement and upcoming wedding was a blur. What had she even said? Evidently it had been intelligible to some degree because the first thing she remembered, after the blazing blue of Richard's eyes burning through her from across the table, was Lady Mary's uncharacteristic delighted gasp and giddy applause. It was the first full smile Isobel had seen from Mary since they'd been together in the delivery room just after George's birth. She recalled Cora's smiling eyes, her genuinely offered, "well done, Isobel!" Robert's standing and raising a toast "to our dear Doctor and the future Mrs. Clarkson" had caught her by surprise -Richard had told her later, with much amusement, that her eyes had gone wide as saucers.

When they returned to the cottage after dinner, Isobel and Richard collapsed, exhausted, onto the bed and into one another's arms. "I have to concede I was wrong, Richard! I went in looking for a fight and it turns out there was none to be had. I underestimated the lot of them!"

"You are loved, sweet Isobel. More than you realize."

"So are you, my darling man." Isobel had taken hold of his hand, and now she laced her fingers through his. Richard's heart skipped a beat when he saw the adoration in her eyes. She continued, "I knew that we wouldn't get off without them attempting to assert some measure of influence over our wedding, though. Sure enough, Violet and Cora leapt at their perceived opportunity to plan. But you! Major Clarkson made his appearance when you said, calm as a convent, 'Lady Grantham, the arrangements are made, and you've nothing to do but enjoy the day.' You managed to be masterful and gracious in equal measure. I have much to learn from you in that regard. No one is surprised when I speak my mind, but you, love! You wait until it just won't do to keep silent, and by then you've thought long and hard about what you want to say. They listen because you're kind and eloquent when you speak. I love that about you, Richard."

"I love everything about you, Isobel," he replied, and it wasn't a deflection. She looked into his eyes and saw the sincerity in them. She was both humbled and alarmed by it, for she knew that love is more than hearts and flowers and seeing nothing but perfection in one's beloved. But then, she argued with herself, surely Richard knew that. No one but he had seen the darkest days of her life.

"Surely not everything, love. I am plenty flawed. Don't misunderstand me; I am ever so glad that you see good in me. Only I know from my marriage to Reginald that while it is possible to remain in love, there comes a time when the newness and euphoria fade away. Don't place me upon so high a pedestal that you believe I'll never aggravate you; that my habits won't irk you." She paused, allowing him to process what she was saying, and lay her hand over his heart so that he knew she was not distancing herself from him.

"I'll never do anything intentionally if I know it irritates or hurts you, but I'm flesh, my dear, as are you. However much the thought might mollify us, we will hurt each other. I adore you. I cannot wait to be your wife, and I look forward to all that entails." She raised an eyebrow at him in what was clearly a suggestive manner, and he felt his skin begin to tingle. He could see that she was taking great pains to assure him that she was not changing her mind, and he in turn resolved to hear not only her words but the heart behind them.

Isobel watched his eyes carefully before continuing, her arm going round him, her fingers beginning to knead the small of his back. "I just want you to know what marriage will be. It'll be wonderful. The most worthwhile thing we will ever do. But you'll feel like you hate me sometimes, Richard. That's only a small part of it, but it is part of it, and I..." She faltered at the end, thinking of his ability to make an impact in so few words. Had she said too much? Should she tarnish his ideals of marriage before theirs even began?