Dreams and destiny

Start and looking forward

I am Kreyzee Yu and have been studying Education(BSED) for three years now but honestly, I did not foresee myself as an educator.

Like any other kids, I also used to dream during my childhood.

When time passed by wherein time is the only thing that remains constant, I graduated high school still hesitant and unsure of what I really want to be.

I once said that I want to be a stewardess, and my brother who was expected to give support and encouragement instead acted like a judge giving his irrevocable verdict that I am not capable to be one.

I was aware that he was just joking around but since I'm serious type, I'm apt to argument.

He said, "A stewardess is tall. Are you tall?"

"My height is 160 cm. I am still sixteen. I still have enough time to grow." I replied confidently.

"A stewardess is beautiful. Are you beautiful?" he said.

I looked at myself at the nearest mirror and there, I saw my reflection wearing loose faded t-shirt and short which was below my knee with hair messily bunned.

And BOOM, realizations hit me and remembered how many times I was reprimanded by mother about my style who seemed like the long lost member of 'Salbakuta'.

I stunned.

Yes, I may be beautiful because they said that all God's creation are beautiful, and I one of them.

However, I knew enough that I am not as beautiful as what and how the society defined that word.

Therefore, I put an end to that ambition.

I also said that I want to be a chef.

And again, my brother who seemed to be my number one antagonist opposed. He said that I am still not capable to be one because I can only cooked rice (in the rice cooker) and easy to fry foods which were often overcooked.

I would like to remind him that I knew how to cook 'champorado'/chocolate rice porridge and it was indeed my so-called specialty.

I chose to keep it myself because I knew that it was not enough and he will just laugh at me.

And for the second time, I stop dreaming to be one.

I felt sad.
I was out of choices.

If I cannot be neither a stewardess nor a chef, I cannot picture out future and just let everything go with the flow.

So, I first stepped in the university letting my parents accompany me and did not even care where they dragged me during enrollment.

I'm trying to be optimistic that there are things worth to risk and think that this out of track decision will turn out to be my destined profession.