My boyfriend is an octopus

"Happy birthday, baby." said Peter as he kissed my forehead.

"This is beautiful, thank you so much."

I stared off into the aqua blue ocean, the sound of music and waves making soft noises. A bright full moon hung overhead and the smell of salt water filled my nostrils. I watched rose pedals dance away with the waves and turned around to face Peter.

"I love you so much." I whispered.

The candle lights flickered in the wind and I sighed. I couldn't be anymore happier than this.

"I love you too, beautiful... but I have a secret to tell you."

"A secret?" I asked in confusion, "I thought we told each other everything?"

He sighed and ran his hand through his curly brown hair.

"I..."

Peter paused and my eyes softened.

"You don't have to tell me." I said with a small smile.

"No, I have to." he replied as he stepped back.

"I... I'm a fucking octopus."

Before I could react, he shot fucking ink into my eyes.

"What the fuck?!" I yelled.

I clawed at my eyes and tripped over a candle.

"A fucking Kraken!" he cried.

My back hit the floor and I gasped at the pain. I opened one eye and saw his body slowly mold into an octopus. What the fuck is this shit? I tried to get up, but one of his tentacles slapped my stomach.

"Ouch!" I yelled.

By this time, I finally got both eyes open. He grabbed the picnic basket and threw it at me. I tried to dodge it, but his tentacle arm kept me down.

"Fucking shit, Peter!" I yelled, "Fuck! How could you do this to me?"

Tears were pooling down my cheeks. I heard noises and looked back to see more fucking octopi.

"No! No!" I yelled.

"Those are all of my girlfriends. You shall now turn into an octopus!"

"No! I can't! I can't become an octopus!"

"Yes you can!" he approached me, his head slowly turning into a large oval.

This shit is fucking nasty.

"You're so beautiful."

I can't become an octopus. I can't! He crawled on me and shot more ink on me.

"Prem jaw mek muhhh."

Then, all of the octopi around me began to chant that fucking thing.

"Prem jaw mek muhhh."

Before I knew it, I became a fucking octopus.

**Octopi is the plural of octopus. It's not wrong, you octopussies**