I'll be the end of her, I'm in her head.

Chapter 10.

I tried to open my eyes, but the lights were so bright. I smelled plastic and hand sanitizer, and a beeping noise that I new was monitoring my heart. I knew where I was before I had even opened my eyes all the way. I was in a hospital. I look around, but stayed quiet.

The guys were all there. They were each reading magazines, tapping on their phones, playing with lose strands on their jeans. Then I made a grunting noise, clearing my throat. Their heads snapped up and the stared at me in awe, saying nothing.

I looked each of them over. They looked great. They had all gotten hair cuts, they didn't smeel like liquor, pot, and death. They hadnormal skin tones, and they could hold their eyes open. They were sober-- more sober than I had ever seen them, but nobody spoke.

"How long have I been asleep?" I waited for an answer, but got no response. "Hello?"

Ben just got up and hugged me. He whispered, "Three weeks. I thought I lost you."

Everyone was quiet, until I started to cry. I almost killed myself. I was unconscious for three weeks. I almost lost everything. "I'm so sorry."

"No," Ben's voice was tsrained as he hugged me tighter. "Don't apologize. Never say sorry to me for this. I did this to you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Alex."

The boys all hugged me and it was nice, because I knew what was going on. The guys knew what was going on. We all were sober, and this was a wake up call. I was never going back to my old ways, and I wasn't letting them either. I was alive, and I wasn't taking that for granted again.

That day, the guys caught me up on everything I had missed.

"We called 911, and you got your stomach pumped, but you wouldn't wake up. In the time we weren't allowed to see you, we promised each other to stop this. We haven't done anything since, and we even cleaned ourselves up for when you were awake," Sam smiled.

Ben nodded, "We cancelled the rest of the tour, too. As soon as you get released from the hospital, we're on a one way trip back to London."

"Sounds good to me," I smiled.

The next few days, Ben didn't leave my side. He just kept talking to me, telling me how much he missed my voice and my laugh. My mom came in, too. She was really disappointed. I guess I was in a few magazines, which I didn't remember, but one look at them made me wish I was dead.

After three days, I was stable enough to be wheeled out of the hospital. That night, we were on a plane back home. Ben sang me to sleep on the ride, and I woke up only a few hours before we were landing. "I'm so ready to go home," I laughed, stretching in my seat.

When we got home, I dropped on the floor in the door way and just laid there. I missed it so much. Going on tour was definitely not my thing. It was fun experience, or at least the parts I remembered were. I was much happier at home though, so wrapped myself in a blanket and watch Disney movies with Ben for the remainder of the day.

After I took a shower, Ben annonced that the boy had a surprise for me. They took me into Danny's office, a room I didn't even know was in the house, and they told me that they had finished the album. It was called Reckless & Relentless, and it was all about the thing that had happened on the passed tour, and how they were never happening again.

"What we really wanted to show you is the song that we wrote for you, while you were in the hospital. The only song on this album that we sung sober," Danny told me.

Ben smiled and touched my arm, "It's called To The Stage."

I'm out the door, I'm on my ass again like every night before