I'm in Love, But She's Dead

I'm in Love, But She's Dead -7

Mrs. Strong collapsed into Mr. Strong. My mom stood up and came to hug me.

I backed away from her and glared at Mr. and Mrs. Strong. “Are you lying to me? I spoke to her yesterday.”

My mom hit my arm and glared at me. “How can you be so insensitive, Vincent?”

“Me insensitive? They’re the ones lying to me about Haven’s death! That’s a sick joke,” I yelled, running up the stairs to my room. I sat down on my bed and grabbed my phone. I send a text to Haven.

Hey. Your parents came here to tell me you're dead. How sick is that?

I waited for a response, now laying down and tossing my phone in the air. After ten minutes passed, I checked my phone to see if I had gotten a response from Haven. I didn’t and I knew I wouldn’t. I was just being paranoid. After five more minutes passed, I called her. It went straight to voicemail.

“Hi, this is Haven Strong. Thank you for calling and I’m sorry I can’t pick up the phone. Please leave a message after the beep. If this is Vince, I love you.”

My heart clenched. I don’t think she loves me as much as I love her. I mean, yeah, she loves me- she tells me every day. She’ll tell me at the most random times; one time she told me she loved me while I was in the bathroom. But I really love her. She… she’s just amazing. I mean, I really love her. I told her I was going to marry her, for Christ’s sake.

“Vincent, can you please come down here,” my mother called.

I sniffed, even though nothing was there, and I went downstairs, chucking my phone towards my bed. When I came downstairs, Mrs. Strong had composed herself and was now sniffling quietly.

My mom held my shoulder and said lowly, “We need to talk, Vincent. This is very serious.”

I knew it was. She only ever called me Vincent when talking to me about something serious. She sat down on the couch farthest from the doorway, next to my father. Mr. and Mrs. Strong sat on the loveseat that was next to the couch, holding each other’s hands. I choose the recliner seat that faced both couches.

Mr. Strong whispered to his wife before looking at me with sad eyes.

“Vince… I don’t know how to say this… but Haven’s left us.”

I scoffed. “I texted her a few minutes ago telling her about this joke you’re playing. She won’t find it funny.”

Mr. Strong’s eyebrows furrowed. “Did she respond?”

I wrung my wrists. “No, but she will.”

Mr. Strong shook his head slowly. “No, Vincent. Haven died this morning after being hospitalized for having a car accident.”

I stood up and shook my head furiously. “No, she didn’t. I spoke to her yesterday! She couldn’t have died!” I began to yell after denying her death. I kept repeating, “You’re lying!”

Mr. Strong stood up and yelled over me, “Vincent, she was in her car and another car hit her! She ran a red light, Vincent!” Finally he grabbed my shoulders and shook me gently. “Vince, she’s gone. I’m sorry.”

I ripped away from him and ran upstairs. I sat down on my bed and put my head in my hands, my face twisting in confusion. I slowly shook my head.

She can’t be dead. I love her. The only person I love more than my family is Haven.

I sighed heavily and stood up quickly, knocking over a lamp in the process. I looked at for a moment; my face began to change into anger. My fists balled up and I punched a wall. I started destroying my room- tipping over chairs and my bookcase, and kicking everything I could. I knocked books and papers off of my desk and I punched the wall again. By the time I was finished, I was breathing heavily and my room looked like a bull had run through it.

I hit my back against a wall and slumped down, bringing my knees to my chest and putting my head on my knees.

I stayed like that for the rest of the day.

******                                                                         ******

I stood on the trimmed grass, keeping a blank face as I looked at everyone crying and looking sad. My family and I were at Haven’s funeral. Her casket was closed, being supported over the spot where she would be buried. My parents were at Mr. and Mrs. Strong’s side, talking to them. They were all best friends. My brother was far away from the service. He claimed dead bodies creeped him out. Even though we were surrounded by them.

Courtney, Jake, Dana, Benn, Ellie, and Lance came up to me with sympathetic looks. They knew how I felt about Haven even before I knew. They didn’t say anything as the service began and the reverend began to speak about Haven. Her parents spoke and so did a few of her family members.

I never felt so broken.

******                                                                  ******

“All right, Vincent, this is getting ridiculous.”

My mom barged into my room and opened the curtains.

“You’re like a freakin’ hermit in here.”

I stayed lying down, underneath my covers with the pillow on top of my head.

My mom sighed and slowly walked over to my bed and sat down, rubbing my arm soothingly.

“It’s been three weeks, Vincent. I think it’s time to start moving on. I know that you loved Haven. We all did. Obviously not like you did, but you’re not the only one hurting. Think about her parents.  They’ve known her her entire life, and now they won’t see her in the morning, or at night. Please, Vince, get up.”

“I was going to marry her,” I whispered. “I still love her. But I won’t get to tell her that anymore.”

My mom hugged me. “I’m so sorry.”

We stayed like that for a while, her rubbing my arm and trying to comfort me. After what felt like an hour, she got up and went to leave, but she stopped at the door.

“I got you a job at the smoothie hut on Fourth Avenue. You start tomorrow at nine. I figured since school’s been over for a while, getting out would do you some good.”

And then I was left alone.