Sophie stared up at the ceiling. The white surface all began to blend together until she couldn't tell how far it actually was from her. It made her dizzy, so she shut her eyes tight and turned on her side.
She'd been in rehab for almost two weeks, and the withdrawals had very nearly stopped. She wasn't really craving the drug anymore, but that didn't take away her other problems. She was still afraid to look in the mirror. She was jumpy and nervous, but that wasn't too uncommon for her. She'd always struggled with mental health issues. Not anything too uncommon. She'd been diagnosed with a serious anxiety disorder when she was five. In high school, she developed an eating disorder, as well as depression. She had OCD which essentially made her mind a war-zone of thoughts, chasing each other around, getting more and more crowded by the minute.
Of course, her family had taken her to see physicians. They'd done anything they thought would help her, but Sophie didn't want to tell them about all of the dark stuff. She didn't want to make them worry, even as her world was falling apart around her.
When she opened her eyes, she saw Justin, looking up at the ceiling, too. They'd gotten close over the time they'd spent there, and even though it was against the rules, they often went into each others' rooms to hang out. It was peaceful for her, lying next to him. She didn't often find that comfort, like she could just crash and he wouldn't judge her. In fact, he encouraged her to talk to him about how she was feeling, and he talked to her about himself, too.
That particular night, he'd snuck into her room.
"So, your parents are some of the most famous rockstars of all time," he said, finally openly acknowledging that fact to her. Sophie smirked and raised her eyebrows. "Yes, I thought that was understood," she laughed.
"It was! I just meant...what's it like to live with the living legends that are Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham?" Sophie had to laugh again. "Well, at home, they're not 'living legends.' They're just Mom and Dad. Honestly, if you'd ever been to my house, you'd never even know you were in a house that belonged to rockstars. They wanted to give me and my sisters a fair chance at life. They didn't want us to only be names that the world knew by default. We were raised with good values, and freedom to explore what we wanted to. They've really supported all of us in everything that we've done."
She took a pause, turning over onto her stomach, and resting her chin on her pillow. "I talked to my mom the other day. I apologized, and everything, and she was so understanding. My dad is, too. Its like they're ready for every possible scenario in life, even though they can't possibly see it coming."
"Is the Buckingham Nicks romance everything that the world thinks?"
Sophie smiled to herself, thinking back on memories of her parents throughout her life. "The world sees them as this epic rock and roll romance. They see them as two people who went through everything together, and came out more in love than before. Yes, those things are true, but I mean...they're so much more than that. I don't know how to describe what they have. They aren't just in love. They're connected, like they're each others' missing puzzle piece or something.
"Its what happens after all the lights and the shows and the cameras, that is truly magical. Like how they slow dance together in the kitchen, and don't care who sees. Or how they watch movies all night sometimes, and we find them on the couch the next morning, completely at peace with each other. Or, how sometimes, I'm trying to study and I just hear them singing or playing guitar with each other. They have the kind of love that I want, someday," she explained, dreamily.
Justin smiled at her. She really was so enamored with not only her parents romance, but all romance. She loved talking about her favorite movies, 'Gone With the Wind,' 'When Harry Met Sally,' etc.
He loved the way that her eyes lit up when she thought about things that made her happy. And her smile made his heart skip a little.
"What about your sisters? Are they all happy," he asked. She nodded. "Well, you know Sara's off winning Grammy's and touring all the country music hotspots. Lily's got an amazing guy and they're having a daughter in the spring. Bella's working at the Children's Hospital, trying to become a nurse, and Phoenix is...well, you've seen Phoenix all over TMZ and E! or whatever." Justin chuckled and nodded. Everyone knew that Phoenix was a party girl, pretty notorious, and pretty edgy, although it was pretty much an act. She wasn't actually out of control.
Sophie looked out the window from her bedroom, which looked over the garden out back. The moon reflected off the pond, and it reminded her of home. She laid her head on the pillow and closed her eyes, suddenly thinking of the lyrics to 'Beautiful Child.' It was something that her mom always sang to her.
She started humming the words, then looking up at Justin. "...and I am a fool once more," she sang. He could hear the sleep in her voice, and reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. She smiled contentedly to herself. His skin against hers made her feel electric.
He was a drug in and of himself. She knew that he was dangerous to fall for. He was a recovering alcoholic. Then again, she was dangerous, too. Maybe, being in the same situation would be good for them. He was the only person who had truly been there, understanding her, and making her feel like she didn't need coke at all. He made her feel dizzy with happiness just by looking at her.
As for Justin, he didn't know what it was about Sophie that made her so attractive to him. Of course, she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever laid eyes on. She looked like a beauty queen who'd fallen out of a picture from 1970's California. It was more than her beauty, though. She was wild, and impulsive, but was also so methodical, and sincere in how she thought and spoke. And she thought and spoke like no one he'd ever known. She was afraid of so much, but lived fearlessly. She cared so much for people that it kept her up at night in tears. Most of all, she had no idea that she was beautiful.
That really astounded him. At first he thought that when she said she was ugly or fat, she was just fishing for compliments, like other girls he'd known. That wasn't the case, though. She truly believed those things about herself. Though it baffled him, it also touched him.
He leaned in, almost daring to kiss her, but she sat up. He closed his eyes, frustrated at himself for trying something. They were both still vulnerable. "God, I'm sorry, Soph." She looked at him weakly until he got up to leave. Before he left, she called his name.
"Justin?"
"Yeah."
"It would do you good not to fall in love with damaged people."
THANK YA'LL SO MUCH FOR THE LIKES AND AWSOME COMMENTS! THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME :) ESPECIALLY SINCE THIS IS MY FIRST STORY, AND REALLY CLOSE TO MY HEART <3
