The Man I Hardly Knew.

Chapter two.

No matter how modern a girl gets, no matter how much she proudly protests being a citizen of the twenty first century, she always dreams about her kind of marriage similar to girls in the fifties. - How the decorations will be, how arrangements will be, how the ornaments will be chosen, How her wedding dress will be. But above all, she also dreams about the kind of husband she wants to have in life- Just the normal type of girl's dreams. I am. Even i am a normal girl.

But maybe it was not written in my destiny to have rights over this dream. Probably this right was stolen away from me; Or even snatched away from me.

Slowing descending the stairs with the girls giggling beside, the crowd ogle at me as though they have never seen a girl before. Or maybe they have never seen a white girl in an indian bride's attire. I try to smile. I try hard to; But ends up giving a half puzzled and half nervous smile. It takes no extra effort for anyone ogling at me to spot how nervous this bride is. I struggle to slowly move ahead with such high heels- hard for me to handle. I stumble but mind my step again with the girls trying to hold me back on my feet.

There is an unfathomable dilemma in my mind. The puzzle looks incomplete, like a mandatory part of it has gone missing without notice. With each slow steps of mine towards the sacred fire, my mind reels even swifter. The cassette being played in my mind simply goes from play to fast forward. But it just doesn't stop. They just do not stop eating up my brain veins. All the noises of the atmosphere goes silent, the voices of my mind shout and yawl in agony. Perhaps, they want to tell me something. But what? I just cannot understand.

The priest has already started the wedding mantras. He gestured to the girls asking to make me sit next to the groom with his sehra hiding his face. Has the groom arrived? Oh he is there. I just sit quietly with all the noises resurfacing in my mind. I stare at the Holy fire while the priest continues with his shaadi mantra. Anita mum comes whispering in my ears about each step of a bride during the wedding: From the exchange of garlands to the rounds of the sacred fire.

When have the ceremonies ended and the marriage concluded as successful, i haven't known. I wasn't allowed to. Perhaps, i wasn't permitted to realize this. My thoughts haven't authorized me. The vision of a snake coiling up all along blurred my mind and senses for the past long minutes. Sometimes it was a bear. Sometimes, a fire. Sometimes, a lion. Hissing, yowling, meowing and coiling up in my mind.

Both my supposedly groom and i move towards my parents to take their blessings as i caught my mum gesturing at me as though this is the next step. We bend down to touch their feet while both parents lay their hands on our heads to shower their blessings. My dad catches the arm of the groom and suddenly hugs him as though they know each other for ages now. As the embracing scene ends, my dad whispers in his ears: 'you break her heart, i'll break your neck. You make her cry, i'll make you cry.' Dad said this in such a low tone that only mum and i heard it next to him. And no one else. That's a main quality with my dad- when he whispers, no one else hears. Oh well except the persons standing next to him. But else that's all. The groom stands still. He doesn't respond. Did he smile or something? Well, i don't know. I can't even see him properly with this sehra clouding his face.

He shifts to the side making place for me to hug my dad. As i step closer, my dad swiftly approached and hugged me that tight that i could feel his heartbeats. He starts whining. I stay motionless. Why can't i even cry? I'm getting married. I'll be miles away from Delhi now. I'll be in Bangalore with my stranger. Why can't i just cry when i'll be away from the person who equates my life, from my dad? Why aren't these tears rolling out? Why can't i feel this pain of separation? I'd thought perhaps the missing puzzle was related to my dad-related to the fact that i'll be away from him. But now, it is confirmed, the matter is just something else. Something bigger and worse.

Mum Anita hugs me next and repeat this whining scene. I stay still again. She indicates me my mother and father in law now and asks me to take their blessings too. We did so. My supposedly mother in law stares and beams at me as though i am her key to fortunes. She is a fat woman with chubby cheeks like puffed up balloons, dressed in pink with all her jewels in gold. If a thief comes here, he'll probably steal my mother in law first who looks like she has been adorned in gold. It's just too much for me handle. I move away my gaze to the decorations.

The decorations have been pretty well done. The walls have been prettified with red tapestry as though to match my wedding dress. There are three little flowers without their stems in a small jar of water on each table. From a distance, one can see that they are fresh flowers but they aren't bright. They seem to be frowning. They cannot stand properly in the jar. They seem to bend towards the table as though they do not want to look at me at all. Their each petal looks layered with each petal less darker than the previous one with a little crack here and a little crack there. The tables have been covered with silk white table cloth embellished with red ribbons on the side. The floor glitter unstopping like disco lights under our feet while being scrutinized by the spotlights. Oh and the guests? The guests too are well dressed; dressed in all colors of suits and dresses like M&Ms candies stuffed in one packet. And my henna? Oh yes! They are dark brown as i notice its color on my hands. Mum says the darker the color of a bride's henna, the more her to-be husband loves her. It's not even to-be. He is already my husband now. A stranger husband to be precise.

As i put one feet in the car, another thought clouds my mind: 'What am i doing right now?'

The car takes a bend round the corner and takes only five minutes to be out of sight...