Into the Dark {l.h. + a.i.} || lashton || BoyxBoy

• | |a f t e r| |•

 • | |after| | •

•••

"If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, then I will follow you Into the Dark."

-Death Cab For Cutie, 'I Will Follow You Into the Dark'

•••

three months later

Monday mornings are the worst thing that has ever been invented. Hell, compressed and injected into one moment, is that second when you're rounding the corner to school on a Monday morning and you see that it, disappointingly enough, didn't manage to burn down over the weekend, no matter how many prayers or satanic rituals you performed to make it so. 

But I was learning to find a little light in Monday mornings. Because, I mean, at least I got to have them.

I chained my bike up outside of the school, and hefted my backpack onto my left shoulder. I rode my bike to school now instead of slouchily walking like I used to. Biking was quicker, and I wasn't in the business of wasting moments; not anymore. 

First period was Economics, and I sat next to Calum in that class. He came in seconds before the bell went off, looking flushed and happy, and he elbowed me and passed me his phone, the Notes app open. 

Mikey has a girlfriend! (with about 700 heart-eye emojis). 

And I smiled when I read that. Really smiled, and really meant it. Because, good for Michael. He had a someone, and I honestly wanted him to be happy. It didn't feel like an iron bar through my chest anymore when I thought about how he'd never love me the way I'd loved him. It just felt...okay. Because, loved. I didn't love him like that anymore. That had gone away a while ago. Now I loved him just like Calum--a comfortable, soft kind of love. Speaking of which, Calum was being seriously adorable, all bouncy and excited about Michael's new romance. That was one of the things I really, really loved about Calum; he was never afraid to show the world exactly who he was and how he was feeling, no matter if it didn't fit into the typical definition of what a soccer-playing jock boy might be. 

I was learning to notice the people around me more, rather than being stuck in my own tortured and cynical mind. It's lovely, to be able to figure out exactly what you like best about the people you like best. It's satisfying to have that there, this concrete base of reason as to why you can't live without them. I like to do that, now. I like to think about other people.

Calum chattered and giggled on to me under his breath for the rest of class, and I smiled and nodded and smiled and smiled. I do that now, too. I smile so much. And I figured out that the more you smile, the more you want to smile, because when you smile it lights up the other people around you and then they smile and everything is so much better when everyone is smiling. 

Econ ended and I walked to my locker to grab my books for Anatomy. I opened it and was in the process of stuffing my text into my backpack when I noticed a scrap of paper taped to the inside of the door.

The note was written in sharp handwriting on a ragged bit of notebook paper. I snatched it and held it close to my face to make out what it said. 

Ash,

I got a body. See you soon. 

For a nanosecond, I was confused. Got a body? What?

But then.

But then.

"Hey, do you know where room 203 is?" someone asked. I was still dazed, so I turned around slowly to face them, clutching the note like a lifeline.