state of me.

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everytime i walk by my own reflection

i see no more than a corpse, white face

messy hair and thoughts of desperation.

sometimes my head hurts and i smile

and i say "if that was the only thing i worried about".

but anytime a friendly hand comes and tries

to take me back from where i once was

(and where i am now) i'll push it hard

so it doesn't come with a body and eyes

that see the full state of me right now.

there's no time nor place for me to be, 

or so it seems. because when i'm alright

something inside tells me to move 

and go and be in somewhere else

and "i'll be fine" i say "i guess", 

but then i'm not.


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