The Emperor's Counterpart Kuroko no Basket Fanfic: Akashi's Sister

Chapter 8: Fields of Hope

('･Д･)」
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The night always scares me, I'm always worried; being a pessimist is not a good hobby.

I was once wished for death but then, I snapped...

When I was wishing for death, there's someone out there who is wishing for life.

I've been living in fear, I don't want to be alone.. I want my brother to be with me. I have Taiga and Tatsuya before but I guess there's nothing in this world who's left unchanged.

To be honest, I want to run and just ignore everything, eliminate what I feel.

There's something I'm afraid of, I called it Life.

Life is draining my strength, my faith, and everything I got. When I was starting numb to the things around me, that will be the time that life will hit me with even more pain, 3 times more painful than before.

I don't want sympathy, don't show me pity and don't feel sad for me. I know I have to fight, but I biggest challenge is
' how to be strong '

" When you feel that you can't handle it anymore, there's someone inside you who will make you imagine a future with them. From there you will have the strength, it hurts but it will hurt even more if you ignore it." I convinced myself, I want to fix myself.

It's been 5 days since I've got in the hospital. All the results are cleared but somehow I lost appetite, I don't want to eat anything. I thought I'd be fine but it seems I'm getting weaker.

" Kairichii~ just eat this-ssu~ even a little." Kise begged as he placed a spoon in front of my face.

" I don't like, Ryota." I shook my head and lay on bed again.

Disappointment was seen all over Kise's face but that always turn into a smile. Kise never miss to amaze me, he's always here by my side; giving me psychological strength and encouragement. The doctor said that I can go home but Kise refused because I'm not eating anything.

" Why're you so kind to me?.." I asked, looking down.

" Will you please stay?.." I added, smiling faintly. " I'm just a little bit scared." I sarcastically chuckled.
He smiled and sat next to me then placed my head on his shoulders.

The reality hurts pretty bad; If you're not strong enough you'll succumb to the depths of this world. This world is merciless and tends to bring you down.

Ever since mom died, I got afraid..afraid of losing everyone I love. I hate this feeling, the feeling of being weak. I want to hide away from this world to be honest.

I'm tired of feeling lost.. I'm tired of letting go and I'm tired of nothing's left. It's been a lonely road, you know

" Don't worry-ssu! I won't." He cheered, ruffling my hair as I closed my eyes letting out a smile.

The next morning, I awoke when someone touched my forehead. There I saw my father standing beside me.

" ..Kairi.." He called. It was a surprise seeing him here, I want to speak but there's no voice coming out. It's my first time seeing my father beside me when I'm sick.

- Flashback-

" I-I'm scared..I don't want to lose mom! Not now! " I was walking near the hallway when I overheard my father and Seijuro's conversation. I looked curiously and see my brother cry, tears kept on pouring on his eyes. It's my first time to see him breakdown. He's crying on my father's arm,thus, I have no clue what's going on.

" ... Onii-chan?.." I asked, he immediately wipes his tears then dashed to me, hugging me tight.

" Onii-chan? Onii-chan?..Why are you crying? Hmp! If I know who made you cry, I'll punch them!" I hissed. He continuously let out heartful cries on my shoulder.

I started to cry due to the silence of my brother, I am getting aware.

" I don't want to lose mom.." He whispered.

" Huh? Where is she going?.." I asked skeptically

I was innocent that time, I was not aware of pain. If only I can remain that way forever.

"... She's our strength.. I want her to promise not leave us!" He sob once again.

Today, I've become numb.. no tears can escape from my eyes. It's the most weird feeling, I'm aware that one day I have to live alone.. with no family nor friends.

Séijuro has been strong for too long, his heart is like a glass, hard but can break easily. I want to be by his side, the one loyal to him, the one who support him and be his strength.

END OF FLASHBACK

" How are you feeling?" My father asked, I can't talk there is no voice coming out from my mouth. I can only stare at him and nod, I can't open my eyes for that long so I spend my time sleeping.

He kept on ruffling my hair as he sigh.

" Don't leave us like your mother did." He whispered with a hint of sadness in his voice, his voice cracked as little causing me to force myself to open my eyes.

" Do you know that your mother was my everything? She was perfect, a woman with dignity and her smile makes me whole, those eyes that holds the hope even in darkness gave me strength. Even now I don't have the courage to look at her pictures, she has this wide smile... your mother was.. was a---"

I opened my eyes when I felt a cold liquid touched my skin, my father is crying. He was messaging his temples as, preventing to cry.

" P-Papa.." At first there is no voice coming out, only air but on my second try; I succeded. I let out my hand to wipe his tears, smiling.

" I-I'll be okay.. D-Don't cry.. I-I'm sorry." I said

My mom was his weakness and until now, the woman who caught his heart.

" I-It's okay to show weakness sometimes, it's what makes us stronger papa." I explained, smiling at him.

I thought he never cared about me, that I was nothing to him. I was born as a mistake that's what I thought.

" You had me worried, you child!" He yelled, wiping away his tears.

FLASHBACK

" Masaomi, take care of Séijuro and Kairi.."

" Don't be too harsh on Seijuro, let him have his childhood."

" Let Kairi dream whatever she wants."

" Tell them, I'm thankful that they chose me to be their mother."

Everyday, time steals the strength of Shiori, their mother. Time takes away everything even pain.

Sometimes I think, my situation is the worst but I realized someone out there is experiencing more pain than I do.
I don't know where I'm getting my strength but I feel it's deep inside my heart; something that I didn't notice before, something I'm unaware of.

There are two parts in my heart, the one who accepts and the one who don't want to give up.

END

" Let it be done." I whispered.