My eyes fluttered open. The light from the fluorescent bulbs seeped in, hurting my unaccustomed eyes. Where am I? I tried hard to sit up, but something was restraining me. It was like every time I moved someone was taking a knife and stabbing me. I wanted to scream but my voice was lost in the pain. I realized then that I was in the hospital.
Quietly the voices crept into my mind. Muttering and then building into a crescendo of screaming. I didn't know what to do. It was paralyzing, I needed to die, I couldn't stand the voices. My voice had pushed its way through the mass of voices and broke the silence with a blood curdling scream. It frightened me. The sound of beeping and machinery flowed into my ears. They were followed by the sounds of nurses talking. Their voices were coming closer, so I assumed that they were coming to check on me after my little outburst. Someone opened the door. It wasn't the nurses, because they were protesting against who ever it was. A tiny hope welled up inside of me. Maybe it was my mother. That hope was set a blaze by Karvers surprising hair. He peeked past the pastel colored curtain, he looked anxious.
"Karver," I asked. I wasn't sure why he was there.
"Hey Larkin," He said, pleased that I had remembered his name. "I'm sorry were you asleep?" I don't know why he asked. Everyone within a hundred mile radius knew I was awake.
"No," I answered. My voice was rough and scratchy."Why are you here?" and why am I here, I should be dead. I asked mostly to myself.
Karver looked hurt by my question but he answered.
"I didn't want you to be alone," He blushed scarlet red. "Your mother refused to come visit you." He finished, this seemed to upset him, because his brow furrowed and his mouth pulled down in a frown.
"My moms not here?" My heart constricted and my voice broke a little bit at the end at my failed attempt to sound nonchalant.
"No," He added sympathetically.
I didn't want to talk about that anymore. I was scanning my mind trying to come up with something that would break the awkward silence. I noticed, then, that the voices weren't there. My mouth turned up in a grin. My mind was free of the dreaded voices.
"What," Karver asked, he was grinning too, but before I could answer a nurse walked in. It had taken her a surprisingly long time for her to arrive. Her pastel purple scrubs were too big and her chestnut brown hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail. She didn't look very pleased.
"Mr.Brookes your not supposed to be in her," she said sternly, her browned eyed gaze was glaring fiercely at Karver.
"Sorry, I'll leave," He said turning to face the nurse and striding toward the door. Before he left he called out behind from behind the curtain, "I'll talk to you later Larkin."
"Bye," I whispered. The door closed silently and the nurse's too sweet voice flooded my mind.
"Would you like some more medicine hun?" She asked me, speaking to me like I was a six year old. Along with her voice the terrible screeching of the voices returned.
"No," I said through gritted teeth. I was trying to push the unwanted voices from my mind. When the nurse looked at me puzzled, I answered her a little more harshly then needed to. "No! I don't want any more medication!" Although my whole body was protesting from the pain, medicine would make my pain go away but it would also make me go to sleep.I had too much to think about to fall asleep.
"Alright," She answered scowling. "I'll come back in a couple minutes to check up on you." She left, and the sounds I could hear were the screaming voices, the beeping machine and my own heart beating rapidly. The door opened several moments later.
"I still don't want any medicine," I yelled. My voice had softened but it was harsh from my irritation at the young nurse. Suddenly the voices stopped. My heart began to slow down, and I unclenched my teeth. I was confused. Where had they gone?
Suddenly Karver walked to the side of my bed pulling up a chair. He rocked back the two back legs, He was grinning triumphantly.
I had never noticed how attractive Karver was. He was tan, and his odd baby blue eyes were greatly complimented but his flame red hair. His smile was crooked slanting up towards his left eye. Deep dimples were prominent on his high cheekbones. Traveling toward his throat I noticed a small crevice in his chin. His torso was perfectly defined under his black t-shirt, he was muscular but leaning toward a more boyish figure. He was gorgeous.
He noticed me staring at him because he let the two front legs of his chair bang loudly on the speckled linoleum floor. He was blushing, it was surprising how easy it was to embarrass him. I like Karver he wasn't like most boys at my school; self absorbed, judgmental, shallow, airheads. He was nice and shy, and didn't seem upset I had tried to kill myself. That reminded me.
