E i g h t e e n

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Chapter Eighteen

Words can hurt.

"What you did back there was stupid enough that it could've even killed you", he growled, and I rolled my eyes. Oh please, don't exaggerate darling.
"What's it up to you anyway? Is it because you won't get any money if I'm dead? Well, let me make this clear once and for all: you will never see any money, alive or dead, it doesn't matter", I hissed before he came one step closer as I took one step backward, keeping the small distance between us.
"Why the hell can't you understand?", he seethed, grasping my arm in the process as I attempted to walk away. I didn't make eye contact as he pulled me closer to him.
"Understand what? There is nothing to understand", I whispered, tearing away from his tightening touch.
"Haley, please just try to understand-", he insisted, and I shook my head from one side to the other.
"What are you even talking about?"
"I'm trying to tell you that-", he said, but I cut him off immediately. My feet slowly increased the distance between us while we were staring at each other. His blue eyes alighted with fury.
"Tell me what? That you are a jerk? Thanks, but I already knew that Damian", I spat under my breath, and he snorted angrily.
"Haley-"
"No. Don't. Damian for Pete's sake. Stop it!", I snapped, and he took one large step into my direction. His hands firmly grabbing my upper arms, holding me in place.
"Shut up Haley! Goddamnit! Why do girls always need to interrupt someone when they try to say something? Seriously, it sucks. You don't even know what I was about to tell you and still, you think that you already know", he spoke, and I stared into his ocean-blue eyes, watching him intensively. It was because I already knew that I didn't want to listen to what he had to say.
"Then go ahead. Spit the news!"

"I care about you! You stupid, stubborn girl that you are! Don't put yourself in dangerous situations like that. You're killing me with your stunts because I-I don't ever want you to get hurt!", he basically shouted as my eyes widened with each word that he said. See? I knew that this was coming. Yepp, I already knew.
"What are you trying to tell me?" Let's see how far he would take it. Would he start to confess? Did he believe that I fall for this trick?
"I like you Haley", he mumbled, his expression was vacuous as if he expected the worst reaction ever. Should I pretend that I was surprised? What did he expect me to do?
"Say something", he begged. I quietly opened my mouth and shut it again a couple of times. The words couldn't find the way out of my throat. He liked me? No freaking way! Should I tell him that I didn't believe it? That a confession will be my next move to win this bet? He just wanted me to cooperate. I knew this game, Damian Silver. Better than anyone else because I invented it.
"Haley?"
"I'm thinking", I murmured as he took one step closer, slowly closing the distance between us. This was not helping. Which tactic should I try in order to backfire this lousy confession?
"So?", I caught him staring at me, his lips only inches apart and I could inhale his deep scent. The sweet and still manly smelling fragrance always made me feel some attraction.
"So?"
"What do you say?"
"Okay. I won't put myself in dangerous situations anymore", I answered, trying to dodge his question. He sighed as his glance slipped to the floor. Avoiding me.
"Good."
"Good", I breathed before he released me and left the room. Well, this went better than expected.

It was still the sixteenth of April which meant that I was living with them for almost three months now. Maybe you started to ask yourself why I didn't leave already. Good question! The answer was pretty easy as well: I couldn't. Simple as that. I couldn't leave them just yet.

"Haley?", he entered the room, an intense whiff of his aftershave swam through the room while I was staring out of the window, pretending that I didn't hear him calling my name.
"Haley", he breathed, and I noticed that he was already standing right behind me. His body heat radiating, causing warmth to gather on my back.
"What do you want Damian?"
"I'm here to apologize. I didn't mean it", he mumbled, and this was the moment when I turned around, his nose stroking mine, but he didn't back away.
"I know."
"How did you figure?"
"You are not capable of loving anyone. It's easy as that", I answered, watching him clenching his fists until his knuckles turned white.
"You don't even know me, Haley", he snorted, and I suppressed a chuckle to escape out of my lips. Oh, I do. 3 months were a lot of time to study him in detail.
"Maybe you're right. Maybe you're not." His eyes watched me intensively before he took a small step back.
"I just want to start over", he explained quietly. His mouth pressed into a firm line.
"No."
"No?" His expression was shocked, even confused.
"We won't ever have the opportunity to start over Damian. Because even if we start over like you want to, it won't change a single thing about my current situation, does it?", my question caused him to think, and he nodded defeated.
"I am sorry that we kidnapped you in the first place", he mumbled an apology, and I stared at him with widened eyes.
"Why did you?"
"Because you saw us", he answered, and I knew that he was lying. You can't lie to the biggest liar on this earth, Damian. 

"That's why I can't trust you."
"What do you mean?" His left hand slowly tried to grab mine, but I smacked his hand away.
"You didn't kidnap me because I saw what you did to this old man, Damian. No. You kidnapped me because I reminded you of your dead girlfriend", I hissed between gritted teeth, and he stared at me. His expression cold.
"I didn't."
"You did and you know that very well yourself. You are selfish enough to rip someone out of their life - rip them away from their family just because you failed to save her! Kidnapped a girl because you needed someone who takes care of you like she did because you can't take care of yourself! But guess what! I'm not Stacy and I will never be her!" My voice harsh and filled with hate.
"I never wanted you to be like her! She had a heart, something that you will never have!", he growled loudly, and I pushed him away. My hands clenched into fists. Not anymore.
"At least I won't die because I have one."
"You have no right to judge me or her!", he spoke through gritted teeth while his eyes darkened.
"And you had no right to kidnap me either!", I yelled.
"You are right. I didn't have the right to kidnap you, but you don't realize that we're trying hard to make the best out of it! We welcomed you with open arms because now, it's too late to let you leave again", he snorted, trying to guilt-trip me.
"Honestly, I see your point, but I still think it's full of shit!"
"You're annoying when you try to convince everyone that you are so tough Haley", he claimed, and I raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Well, I was tough. He just had to wait a little longer to realize it himself.
"You're even annoying me when you're breathing!"
"Why do you always have to make me angry?"
"Because you inspire my inner serial killer!"
"Then why are you still here Haley? Tell me! Why don't you try harder to leave for good? Did you really believe that I haven't figured out that you enjoy staying here? Is it because the others got attached to you? Is it because you finally have people who like you even though you obviously don't have a heart at all?" He towered over me, his hands grabbing my upper arms. Hah, I didn't need people to like me. I was better off alone.
"First, you must explain why you try so hard that I fall for you, Damian! Is it because you feel lonely? Is it to prove that you could still be this cocky player that you have always been? Is it because of our bet? No. I think it's because you are afraid of being alone but let me tell you something that is true: You will rot in hell all by yourself Damian because no one will love you ever again. You don't deserve to be loved!" 

He tightened his hold on my arms before he finally released me. His back facing me when he clenched his fists and left the room without saying a word. 

[Edited January 2019]   

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