Hell On Earth

Many people say that before they die their life flashes before their eyes. Not me. I always said that I’d only think of you, Joshua. But when I lay there counting down the minutes, with a large hole in my chest, I remembered everything…

“Come on! Keep moving. Schnellere!" They shouted, whacking us with sticks as they said so. They treated us like animals; they did, going to the slaughter house. I suppose we were.

I felt something grab my hand. It was Isaac. I could sense his fear. A shiver slithered down my spine and all the hairs it passed pricked up. Someone was breathing down my neck. I turned around slowly, slowly. Keeping my feet glued to the ground. I didn’t look up, I knew who it was.

“Did you not hear me, Jude?” The voice whispered, “Keep. Moving.”

I held Isaac’s hand tight as I pushed our way through the crowd. My entire body trembled as we trampled over hundreds of people who were unfortunately caught up in the uproar just minutes before. I whipped my head round and then down, just to check Isaac was still there. Who knows what I’d do if I lost him.

I gazed up into the sky. Tried to escape all the madness. After everything I’d been through, the sky was the only thing I hadn’t lost. I hadn’t lost the moon or the stars, or the sun. They were like my oldest friends - the only things that had stuck by me my entire life, the only things that hadn’t died, or left or abandoned me.

“Do you think they’re up there?” A small voice asked.

“I’m sure of it.”

“I wonder if they’re watching us, right now. Mummy…and Daddy, oh, and Grandpa,” The little face that was Isaac smiled up at me.

“We’re here, wir sind hier,” I heard someone cry above all the noise. A million voices could be heard murmuring with despair. It was hard to even think as the only sounds I could hear were those of babies crying, people screaming in distress and the orders from the soldiers. The smell around was rancid and it filled my nostrils like smoke.

I stared at the people around me. There were small ones, big ones, young ones, old ones, tall ones, thin ones, lots of thin ones, different coloured ones and lots more. But really, we were all the same - all being treated with prejudice, just because we were Jews. I felt for them, all of them, I really did.

The gates slowly opened. From the outside the camp looked just like the last one, but to be honest, I’d started to lose track. I didn’t really care anymore. They were all designed for one thing and that was to kill.

Us.

The ground underfoot was wet, and muddy. I had to stamp hard so I didn’t get stuck – if you get stuck, you’re dead. Quite literally.

“Grandma, I’m scared!” Isaac started to sob. I squeezed his hand in my sort of don’t-worry way.

“Grandma’s here, Isaac, Grandma’s here.”

The soldiers shoved us through the gateway alongside millions of others, “When you enter your…new home, you will line up so we can sort you into your bunks. Anyone who does not do as we say will be shot, understood?” They yelled. No one dared to answer.

"Verstanden?" They repeated. Some people murmered 'yes' while others just nodded their heads.

I heard them cracking their whips again as we rushed through the gates. I noticed the phrase, 'Willkommen Zu Auschwitz'. I didn't know much German but I knew what 'Auschwitz' was. I'd read about it in the papers enough. It was one of the worst places to be. I started to doubt I'd ever survive there.  I prayed that they didn’t try to separate Isaac and I again, the consequences last time were traumatising – checking the dead bodies for possessions and then shovelling them up is not something I want to remember. We straightened ourselves into a line and waited.