A star crossed love story

New life

MY life is full of tragedy. My parents are indians. They came to America one year before my birth .. So i grow as a American. But i didn't have a normal american life like you have .That was because of my family. My dad is a drug addict . He spent most of our family income to buy alcohol and drugs . That resulted in fightings between him and my mom. They used to fight like all the time. So there was no happiness in my family. I asked my mom to divorce my dad. But she is a love sick puppy. She love him like a mad. She fight with him for a silly matters. But deep inside she loved him.She didn't care about me. I thing sometimes she forget she had a daughter. She only care for my drug addict dad. Because she love him . WHAT A CRAZY STUPID LOVE........

I stayed alive for 14 years for my  brother Adam. He was my only happiness at that time. But he left me when he was 18 . I don't forgive him for leaving me to suffer alone in the battle filed. I spent my another 4 years with gritted teeth. Some days i feel like i am suffering in hell. Some days i feel like a it is just a bad dream honey it is not going to happen in your life. But it was not a dream it was happening to me. There was no tears  to shed for my suffering. They don't know how the parents behaviour affect children. They affect me like a hell. I didn't have a friends to share that. I was is in serious depression. I couldn't concentrate on my studies. I got very low marks. I knew i couldn't get into the colleges for my marks.But i didn't care about that. All i want was to leave my home.

Tomorrow is my birthday . Point to note tomorrow is my 18th birthday. I don't know where to go. I don't have a marks to go to the colleges. Only choice i have is to stay in my home and suffer this miseries life long. I am in my room lost in thought. Suddenly i have a sense of someone watching me. I turn to face my father. I can smell he drink vodka today.. He is in a full swing to fight .. He inspect me for a few second and turn to leave. But he stops after few steps

dad: Where is your mom???

me: I don't know..

dad: what does it mean you don't know???

me: It means i don't know where she is...............

dad: Jen.. i am your father give proper answer..

me: My name is Jo not jen.. ( i corrected him)

dad: Whatever i don't care bitch .. give respect to me

me: you call me bitch dad.. I am your daughter(i am at the edge of tears)

dad: I don't care what you are ?? where is your fucking mom??? I know she will be busy showing her body to others

me: enough dad... enough .. you don't have a right to talk about my mom

suddenly door opens and my mom comes to halt seeing me and him fighting against each other .

dad: Where have you gone queen???? you have raised your little princess to stand against me. That bitch is not obeying me..

mom: Jo give respect to your dad

me: He is talking rubbish about you mom..

mom: I don't care what he told about me.. All i want is you have to respect your dad( i saw my dad smiling for her words)

He knows how much my mom love him.. He knows she will giveup anything for him. He knows she even give up her own daughter for him...His smile brought something inside me.. At that instant i made my choice

me: I am leaving tomorow

mom:what do you meant you are leaving tomorrow???

me: I am 18 tomorrow mom so i have a right to leave

dad:What are you going to do for money????are you going to sell your body to others jen?????

me: you don't have a right to talk about me. ..and my name is jo not jen

father: what did you tell ?? you told me i don't have a right to talk about you. you know onething kiddo i have a right to kill you at this instant because you are my daughter .. do you want to see the sample .. here it is

Without hesitation he slaped me ............... I spun around and hit the side wall and fall down.. My mom doesn't stop me from falling..Of course why she have to stop me. All she care about is her love. She is a selfish.I know she is not going to stop me from leaving.. because she don't want to lose her love by supporting me. what is there in love ????? He is just using her. How she loved him after all this miseries...She is psycho .. There is no such thing as love .. She become mad.. I am not going to be like her... I am not going to fall in love.. I am not going to trust boys...I am going out of this battle field now.But i don't have a strength to stand.... I lay there hopelessly.. I found my world dimnishing around me..I fall asleep few minutes later ......

At wake up near 3.a.m. Slowly i take first step from where i fallen asleep. First i thought i landed on something oily .. But it smell like something odd.. the smell i hate.. Thats the smell of blood. I touches my head there is a wound in my forehead. But it doesn't hurt that much.. I am not going to care about that . I have manyother things to care about now. I make my way to my room. I pack all the things i need in the suitcase. I go to bid goodbye to micheal(thats my bathroom's nick name). I don't have friends. I don't have pets. So i share my things to my bathroom. That four walls know my full life story. That four walls are the only one to know about my suicide attempts and my 24 cuts in my hand. I switch on the lights of bathroom. I locked the door of bathroom. So no one outside will no about my adieu with micheal. I checked myself in the glass.My coffee color skin is in some sort of dark maroon color because of blood. My straight hair are in big mess. I split a cold water in my face. After cleaning my face and combing my hair i find my dad's hand print on my face. "Man micheal that guy slapped your girl hard". I continued ." I am leaving micheal . i am going to miss you mic. I don't know where to go mic.I thing i am going to dead " I stopped to catch my breath. Mic"I will miss you" I said. I know bathroom can't talk. But i don't have a friends to share my life. I stood there for few minutes watching my reflection on the mirror...

At 5 a.m i am standing on my door steps. I know i am not going to survive outside my home.But i don't have no other choice. I take my first step to my new life.Step that is going to change my destiny. With out no other thought i kept walking ............................