Just One Kiss: Part One

Just One Kiss: Part Two

Chapter 1: “Her Diary”

Sam's Perspective

Just one kiss…

That’s all I need, in order to know.

This is wrong, very wrong. I can’t. I have a girlfriend. I love her, don’t I? If I do, then why am I here?

Why am I in another girl’s room? Why am I so afraid? Why do I fear for her, the girl in the bed not too far from where I’m sitting in a wooden chair right now. Why can’t I take my eyes off of her? Why can’t I leave her? Why does she matter so much to me?

She’s no Jessica Alba, or Jennifer Aniston… She’s just a typical girl with long dark hair, pale skin and kinda cute when she’s angry about something I did or didn’t do. She isn’t much different than any other I’ve met, right? She’s just Beth, the girl I met randomly at school one day.

I’m Sam, the quarterback of the football team, the boyfriend of Bridget Thompson, the super popular, incredibly beautiful cheer captain and self-proclaimed future prom queen (funny how that didn’t quite work out) of Bayville High.

Beth and I shouldn’t even be breathing the same air according to teens our age around town. We’re from completely different worlds, from different sides of the tracks. We aren’t supposed to even be friends. But if that’s true, if we are so different, so unlikely to get along, then why do I feel it’s my duty to visit her every afternoon? Why do I call the girl’s mother every night to make sure everything’s Ok?

So many questions left unanswered… So many confusing, and plaguing thoughts; maybe, just maybe all of it will come to an end, after just one kiss.

The afternoon sun pours pleasantly through an uncovered window nearby. There are posters of Taylor Lautner, Harry Styles and a few other “so called” teenage heartthrobs thumb tacked to pink walls. There are clear Christmas lights running neatly along the white, crown molding. There are photographs of friends and of summer vacations to Destin Florida. There’s also one of us, Beth and I on her night stand in a homemade frame. 

I pick it up and gaze at it for a while. The frozen memory we made, makes me wish I could turn back the hands of time. Things were so much easier then, than they are now.

“One of the best days of my life,” I remember Beth telling me only moments before we took this picture. It was the high school talent show, almost a year ago now, backstage. She was smiling that perfect, kind smile; the one that made me feel someone in the world actually cared.

I never saw her more beautiful. Her dark hair perfectly straight, her cheeks kissed with blush, her honey eyes bright and hopeful. She wore a simple white sundress. I wore a frown. The quarterback of the football team wasn’t particularly interested in photos if it wasn’t for page one in the local newspaper, after bringing home another victory and taking the team all the way to the state championships. I didn’t want my picture taken with a nobody like Beth Anderson, but something inside made me do it. 

What would my girlfriend say if she got her hands on this? I wouldn’t hear the end of it.

“You better not ruin my shot at being prom queen you freaking idiot!!!” I can hear Bridget’s voice inside my head, like nails on a chock board. She gets angry a lot; I think she’s like bipolar or something, because minutes after her meltdowns, she’s laughing and talking as if nothing ever happened.  “Does popularity mean anything to you, douche bag?”

No. It doesn’t. Not anymore. If I had asked myself this question the first day of senior year I would have answered yes, but ever since I met Beth a lot about me has changed. I’m not the guy I was; the self-centered jerkwad! I’m different somehow; all because of this girl who’s laying here in front of me motionless, except for the rise and fall of her chest as she inhales and exhales softly. 

The only thing that seems to matter right now, is her. I wonder if she will ever be able to do the things she did before. I wonder when she will wake…

Sleeping beauty is what I call her now, but her life is far from a fairytale. If you asked her, I’m sure she would agree that I’m no prince charming.

However, I would like to think that just one kiss from the “prom king” yep, that’s me, would make everything right again. I would like to think that as my lips meet hers, all our troubles, our life’s struggles, the hurt and emotional scars would fade away, but deep down I know it won’t. It will all stay the same. I’m only fooling myself to believe such nonsense. Life doesn’t work that way. We don’t get what we want. If we did, Beth wouldn’t be laying here as her life passes her by. Her dreams and hopes of becoming a successful singer and songwriter have been tragically dashed.

Truth is, Beth Anderson isn’t well. She’s sick, very sick. She suffered a stroke at prom. Maybe it’s some kind of a sign. Maybe it’s karma’s way of slapping us both in the face. When you hurt people, sooner or later you get hurt. In our case it was sooner. That’s just how the love game goes.

My heart aches; it bleeds to see Beth this way. Maybe she would have been better off not knowing me. Maybe she wouldn’t be in this condition if it weren’t for me pissing off karma. I cheated on Bridget with this girl and my mistake cost us more than we were willing to pay. 

Well, it really wasn’t cheating… We just danced is all. There’s nothing wrong with that is there? It was just a normal, harmless, intimate, heart-racing, butterfly-swimming, dance! I had some bad Tuna fish earlier that night, which made my stomach sick and my heart was pounding against my ribcage, because I was scared to death I would break one of her toes with my big clumsy feet. Yeah, that’s it. See, I was right. Totally harmless…

I wonder how long I’ll have to keep telling myself this, until I actually believe it.

I place the picture frame back to where it was before. I release a long tired sigh. I should be at home resting up before work tonight, but instead I’m in the bedroom of a girl who doesn’t even know that she exists. What’s the point? She wouldn’t know if I’m here or not. Why stay?

These are good questions, but I suppose I stay because it’s the right thing to do… Plus, I’ll have to live with the regret of leaving her, tossing and turning in bed at night because I know deep down she needs me more now, than ever.

I just wish there was an easier way to find out if she really loves me. What if I’m wasting my time on someone who doesn’t feel the same? What if I made all this up inside my head? What if I let my popularity trick me into believing that Beth is just like every other girl at Bayville High who wants me? What if she doesn’t?

I know her just as well as she knows herself. She wouldn’t ever fall for a football-jock. I should just leave now and stop while I’m ahead…

Wait. But, what if I’m wrong? What if she really does care deeply for me?

Ugh… There’s just no way to know, not unless I was inside her head. I don’t believe in that ESPN crap or whatever they call it.

My eyes shift to a little black book, poking out of her nightstand drawer. I wonder what’s inside… I shouldn’t mess with her things.

My curiosity is getting the best of me. I pull the book free. It’s just a journal. Nothing more.

I skim through the pages until I find a section marked.

“The day I met him,” I read in a whisper, “The day I met Sam.”

This isn’t just any old journal; this is Beth’s diary, and from what I can tell, there are pages filled with cramped, little black words revolving around me. I sit back in the chair. Should I read anymore? Am I crossing the line here?

If what she wrote is apart of my life, would I still be considered a jerk for reading it?

This could finally be my chance!!! This could be the perfect opportunity to discover Beth’s true feelings for me. If she does care, then somewhere in this diary she’ll mention it. I have to read it now. I know it’s wrong, I know I shouldn’t, but I have no choice! I have to know before it’s too late. Time is running out…