Emerald Eyes

Chapter 20.

                                                                                   LUCAS’ POV

                She had smiled because of me. She had actually smiled – a real smile, and it was because of me.

                I was still trying to keep the grin off of my face when I walked into my first class on Wednesday. She wasn’t there, but that was okay. She would show.

                When she didn’t show, I went to lunch and she wasn’t there either. The good feelings were starting to fade by then, and by the end of school, they were completely gone, and I was just worried.

                I knew where she would be, though, or at least I had a pretty good guess. I wasn’t sure what I would say when I arrived, though. I wasn’t sure what I could say to help. I wasn’t sure at all, but I was going to try. And then maybe, if she would let me, I would ask her out.

                I pulled into the parking lot at the hospital. Twenty minutes later, I was nearing Daniella’s sister’s room. My palms were sweating, but that was okay. I had kissed her, and she had kissed me back, and everything would be okay now. I still hesitated in front of the door, but after a moment or two, I worked up enough courage to open the door.

                She was, as I had suspected, sitting on the chair next to her sister’s bed with her head in her hands. I hesitated for another second in the doorway before approaching her because I had a feeling that the reason she wasn’t in school was because of our kiss. She felt she had some sort of obligation to her sister to do nothing but visit her.

                My Vans squeaked on the floor and Daniella’s head whipped up to look at me. I stopped, letting her make the first move, letting her decide how this would go. She said nothing, but she scooted over so I could sit in the adjoining chair. I did so, and looked at her tentatively, without saying anything.

                She heaved a giant sigh and dropped her head back into her hands. “You probably think I’m bipolar or something.” Since I actually knew someone with bipolar, I didn’t. Her voice sounded cold, detached. If I had to wager a guess, I would bet that she had cut again, which hurt. Did that mean I had made her cut?

                I didn’t say anything, just rested my hand on her shoulder. She sat up and ran her fingers through her hair, sighing again. My hand fell down off of her shoulder, so I let it fall into my lap.

                “I just… I can’t do this to her. I can’t forget her. She wouldn’t do that to me.” She bit her lip. “I’m such a horrible person.”

                I didn’t say anything because I knew that nothing I said would make a difference, but inside I was screaming at her. I let her say everything she needed to say.

                “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this to her. I won’t.” Her voice went thick then and I knew I had to say something. I touched her hand and she laced her fingers through mine, almost unconsciously.

                “Tell me about your sister. What was she like when she was-“ I stopped myself from saying alive, “awake?”

                A small smiled curved Daniella’s lips up. “She was nice. She was really nice. She went to Brown’s U, over on Fifth. She loved that college. She was a partier student. Her boyfriend… he sort of turned out to be an ass, so I’m all she has.”