visitor 》dolan twins

chapter one 》the first visit

ethan walks me home after forcing me to wear his thickest hoodie, saying, "if i were to let you walk home with nothing on your arms in the freezing cold, i wouldn't get my good boyfriend badge and i need it for my scouts sash." he's always coming out with stupid stuff like that, always making me smile. he never takes his arm from around my shoulders the whole walk home, and my cheek is always warm with his kisses. we've been together for little over just five months, but it honestly feels like years. i am so smitten with him beyond words, and the way he treats me makes me think he feels the same.

we arrive at my home at around 11:30p.m. and he kisses me goodnight, telling me he loves me, as he often does. i hug him tightly, inhaling his cologne- that i love so dearly- before kissing him once more and unlocking the door.

"goodnight, i love you." i smile, gazing at him fondly for the last time that night.

"i love you." he responds. we never say "i love you, too" as it feels like one of us is saying it because the other has said it first. simply "i love you" feels more heartfelt and genuine. it may not make sense to anyone else, but to us it's perfectly reasonable.

i head inside, quietly at first, so as to not wake my parents and little sisters. then i remember they're not here, i moved out and this is my own apartment, where i live alone. this is my home, that i had put all my savings since the age of 11 towards when i pledged i would leave home immediately after i turned 16.

i couldn't bare living in that house a second longer. deep down, i loved my parents and god forbid anything happen to them, despite the way they treated me. but as soon as my first sister was born, i was tossed aside like an old toy and had to learn to cook my own meals, wash my own clothes, even buy my own necessities with the $20 mom left on the kitchen table for me every week. i had to go through the scary process of becoming a teenager by myself because my mother never had time to even talk to me about it. she cared so little, she bought me a box of large tampons and told me to get over it. at 12 years old, i was terrified of just the thought of using them, especially since they were so big. out of my budget came another $4 for pads to use until i was ready. so from then onwards, i planned to leave home as soon as i could.

two years after rae was born, blue came along and for some unknown reason, my parents suddenly realised they could simultaneously love more than one child. they still paid no attention to me though. i was invisible to them. i love my little sisters more than life itself, but, although it's through no fault of their own, the reason i'm living alone is because they're my replacements.

ethan doesn't think much of my parents, as along with his own mother, they strongly disagree with the way they neglected me.

just the other night, ethan's mother went off on a rant, saying, "they don't know how lucky they are to have children. they're the most precious gift god can offer. i would never let either of my boys go unfed, unclothed or unclean. your parents have no idea just how fortunate they are. they won't realise just how much you mean to them until you're gone for good." she got all teary eyed at that point.

ethan stroked her shoulder and told her it was okay, but she seemed so heartbroken, and she left the room without another word. i didn't ask what was wrong, i didn't feel it was my place.

i lean against the front door and bury my face into the neck of ethan's hoodie, inhaling his scent and wishing he was here. off comes my makeup and up goes my hair before i crawl into bed, wearing only my underwear and the hoodie. it doesn't take me long to fall asleep as the warmth of my comforter soothes my chilled body, and finally, i am enveloped in the sweet darkness of slumber.

i am woken by the sound of tapping against my window. as i stir and rub my eyes, i become aware of what is happening and suddenly i am rigid with fear. i quickly check my phone for the time: 2:37a.m. what or who could possibly be tapping at my windows at such an hour? i slowly get out of bed, wincing as the freezing cold laminate floor attacks the nerves in my feet. then i creep over to the window, and peer through the tiny slits in my blinds. it's ethan.

i open the blinds and then the window. "what the hell are you doing?" i yawn.

he just does this beautiful smirk and asks, "can i come in?" i roll my eyes and allow him to climb into my room before sitting back on my bed and wrapping the comforter around me. he sits a little further down the bed and looks at me. there's something different about him. i swear his mole has moved. whatever.

"what are you doing here, ethan?" i ask, rubbing my eyes.

"uh, well..." he sighs, "you see, the thing is... well, i'm not ethan." he says, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

"wait, what?" i ask, alarmed and quite obviously confused.

"i'm sorry, i've never introduced myself. i'm always so busy so i'm not at home much but i've seen you a couple times and not had the chance to say hello. i'm grayson." he explains, smiling at me kindly. i just stare at him. this is beyond weird. i had seen him come in and out the house a few times but neither ethan nor his mom ever paid him any attention. he entered and exited so quickly, it was no wonder. i'd never even asked ethan about his twin, all he told me is that he had one named grayson and i chose to say no more since i'd been told by a couple of friends who were identical themselves that being asked questions about your twin is probably the most annoying thing there is.

"dude, you let me think you were ethan!" i tell him, slightly pissed off.

"how else would i get you to let me in?" he chuckles nervously, completely ignorant of the fact that he has tricked me into allowing a stranger into my apartment. yes, he's my boyfriend's brother but i don't know him personally.

"what do you want?" i ask him, uncomfortable now.

"i just wanna talk."

"i don't even know you and it's almost three in the morning. what could you possibly wanna talk about?" i question him, quite bewildered.

"oh, anything really. i want you to know me and i want to know you. i mean, after all we could be family one day." he shrugs with a genuine smile. i copy his expression then and feel a small bundle of butterflies unfold in my stomach at the thought of marrying my ethan.

"i do find this pretty strange though, grayson. how do you know where i live? why are you here at this time?"

"i remember ethan mentioning where you live a while back. and night is the only time i can talk to you. when there's no one else around."

"why?"

"i prefer it that way." i just nod in response and say nothing for a moment. the silence is blissful until i break it.

"well, look, do you mind leaving? i really need to sleep now." i request hopefully.

"yeah, sure. i'm sorry for bothering you." he apologises as he stands back up and goes back to the window. just as he's about to climb out, he turns back to me and says, "oh and please don't tell ethan about this."