Withered Roses

He did three remarkable things that day. He gave me three roses... he said 'I love you'.. and he left.

"Keep it. I promise, I will come back. For you. For us."

Those were his last words before he left. The reason why I'm still waiting... hoping. It had been almost a year. We never talked over the phone and he never replied to my emails. All I knew was that he left New York for LA to pursue his dreams. There were times I wanted to give up, to stop waiting, but his words were too strong that it made me hold on.

two years later.

"Kyara?" I turned to where the voice came from. "It's really you." We hugged for a while. She was Shara, my good friend. "How are you doing?"

I'm fine. You?" I asked.

"Good. Good. Anyway, what are you doing here in LA?"

"Well, I got a job. I'm a writer for a teen magazine and I also work part time as a phoographer."

"Good for you. As for me, I've been working in this cafe for two years now."

"The place is good. It was so great seeing you again Shara but I gotta go. I have another appointment."

"Wow. Such a busy person now huh. By the way, have you and Jessewr met? He's so famous now."

I was quiet for a while then I stood up from my table and said, "No. No we haven't. And I wish we won't. Goodbye Shara." Then I walked out of the cafe.

LA is a big city. It is too big for me and Jesse to meet. Honestly, I desperately want to see him and ask why it took him so long to come back. But I think I'm not yet ready.

the next day.

"Okay. Where is that singer you're talking about? You begged me for this interview so that I can write a good article about him. But how can I do it if he's making me wait here for almost two hours now? Doesn't he know how to value time?" I scolded the Manager.

"I'm really sorry Miss Kyara. He's on his way."

Then a man suddenly rushed towards us and said, "I'm really sorry for being late. I encountered an emergeny on my way... here..  Kya... Kyara?" he looked at me straight in the eyes. I was startled. My heart was beating so fast like it would jump out of my chest. We stared at each other until his manager said, "Jesse, This is Miss Kyara of TEENS101. She will be featuring you on her section, The Heart of a Star."

Then he looked at me and said, "Can we now start with the interview?"

I looked away from Jesse and said, "Uhm... Can... Can we do this some other time?" Before he can even reply I already ran out of the studio and went inside my car. 

What's this? Of all the many celebrities I can interview, it really has to be him. I stayed there at the parking lot as all our memories flashed back. The time he would sing to me till I fall asleep, the time he cried when he got jealous, the way he would play with my hair, even the way he kisses me. There, I sat in my car and cried.

two weeks later.

Because of my editor, I scheduled an interview with Jesse.

."Hello Miss Kyara. I'm so glad you'll pursue this interview. I was so worried that ----" I cut the manager off, "Where is he?"

"Uhm. he's.. he's wating inside." he said then I followed him inside the studio.

There I saw him. So relaxed and just so happy. It's like he forgot that the one who'll interview him was the very girl he had hurt.

"Oh. You're here." he said then smiled.

"Let's take a sit and start with the interview." I sat facing him.

Just as the manager left as. I started.

"Okay. 90% of our readers come from teenagers and I really hope that your story is worth reading. I will feature you on my section The Heart of a Star. So, can you tell me what is love for the world famous singer Jesse Rash?" 

He thought for a while then looked at me and said, "Ripping our hearts out, tearing ourselves to shred, giving up our dreams, defying the people that care for us - we do these things simply because of love. It's about sacrifices. Love is when you get hurt yet you can still walk with you head held up high. Love is when you make someone happy even if you're not. It's when you care for someone even if no one cares for you. Love is also about waiting and hoping."

Waiting and hoping huh? I thought to myself. I stared at him and said, "You're probably right. In love, nothing matters but the very person worthy of our heart. Nothing matters but protecting that person, keeping them safe and giving them our best. We lose a part ourselves just to be with that person, just to make all the pain, heartbreaks and tears - worthwhile. But somehow you're wrong. Because  love isn't always about waiting and hoping. No one can wait for forever. Love never breaks promises. In love, someone may leave, but still because of love, he will come back. What about you? Can you say that what you've had for me before is called love?"

He looked surprised. He was quiet then I asked, "Okay. Sorry for that, let's just change the question. Have you ever been truly madly deeply in love with someone?"

He straightened his position, looked at me and said, "Yes I have. Once in my lfe, I have. We were so happy, we were so in love. But, it was me. It was me who gave up. It was me forgot what love is. And if you'll ask me if I regret it, yes I do. I regret leaving her and hurting her. I've reached my dreams and I thought I'll be happy, but I never was. I was never happy like when I was with her."

My heart sank. Teary-eyed I asked, "So why did you do it? Why didn't you come back for her if truly love her? Why did you make her wait? Why did you make her suffer?Why did you gave up love for your dreams?"

He smiled and said, "You can call me a coward. And yes I am. I was afraid that she won't forgive me. I was afraid that she didn't wait or that I made she waited for so long. Seriously, I still love her. And if I will be given a second chance, I won't waste it."

I laughed a bit and said, "Second chances huh? I think I know what to write. Your story's interesting. I'll make a good one out of it. Thank you for your time." I stood up and headed for the door but he suddenly grabbed my arm. "Let go." I said.

"Kyara. I'm serious."

"About what?"

"That I'm asking for a second chance."

I bowed my head. I knew I'm about to cry. "Just... let go of my arm."

He did as I told him. "But Kyara. I really do love you. And please forgive me. Forgive Kyara. For---" I cut him off and I said crying, "Forgive you? Tell me how? You made me wait and I did. I trusted you. I  had faith that you will come back for me. But you never did. I was hurting for three whole years and now you'll just say I forgive you?"

Tears fell from his eyes. "I'm... I'm really sorry.... But Kyara, I'll never stop asking for forgiveness. Not until you say that you don't love me anymore."

I wiped away my tears. Looked at him in the eyes and said, "I don't... I don't love you anymore."

I started walking away, but he pulled my arm, he was so strong that my things fell, including the ones inside my bag - the three withered roses he gave three years ago.

I stared at them and he did the same. I started crying. 

"You're...you're still keeping them?" he asked.

I cried some more and said, "How.. How can I possibly throw them away... if all this time... I've never stopped hopping... and I've never stopped loving you."

I saw him smile and he came closer to me and hugged me tight.

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