Rhianna (Editing)

Full Of Hate

I turned the lock and I was here, home, or hell in other words. The last place I would rather be than anywhere else in the universe. As I shut the door and turned around there was the wierdrest thing of all in front of me. I couldn't actually believe my eyes. I stood rooted to the floor boards, thinking I was hallucinating or something. I rubbed my eyes then opened them again to see the same thing. This can't be real...

There was my mum, standing on the stairs, midway of bringing one down, staring at me. Her eyes felt like it was seeing right through me at another person. Like she wasn't really looking at me. "Mum? What are you doing? Where are you going?" I asked on the brink of tears. I could say me and my mum were never always on the best side of eachother and we never had the perfect relationship but who actually has a relationship that is always perfect and even if it was I would prefer it not to be. "Away baby. I have to get away." She said like it was nothing out of the ordinary. What is wrong with this woman? "But what about dad? What about Aaron? What about me?" I asked her slightly confused. Was she leaving us? Where was she going to go? "Your dad can look after you" she said and finished the note and left it on the table and sat on her suitcase waiting for her cab probably. "Why now? Why are you going? Why are you leaving me" I said crying now my voice slightly breaking at the end. "Its now or never-" she got cut off by a beep from outside and she stood up and picked up her suitcase and headed for the door. I ran to the door and blocked it. "I want answers. Why are you going? Why are you leaving me?" I asked tears streaming down my face. I wanted her to tell me she was joking and she wasn't going anywhere. I wanted her to hug me and tell me everything was going to be okay. I wanted all of this to be a sick joke. "I have to" she moved me out the way and walked through the door with her suitcases and put them in the boot and got in the seat. I stood on the doorstep and watched the car drive away. I stood there for ages and watched where the car used to be before it turned the corner and drove out of my sight. That very moment I knew that was going to be the begining of more problems in my perfect life. I knew that that was just going to be a begining of a new lifestyle I had to start living and I knew that it would be some time before I got back to my normal lifestyle. I would no longer be Rhianna. I would no longer be me.

After a while I noticed that my legs where getting tired so I went inside shut my door and went upstairs to my room. I took off my school uniform, put on a vest top and some pyjama shorts then climbed in my bed and let the tears flow down my cheeks as I tried to get some sleep before my dad got home. I knew he would blame me and tell me I should have stopped her from going, he would be right anyway; I should have stopped her from going, but then again how? I’m just a 16 year old kid trying to live my life. Not a 21 year old life counsellor trying to keep my mum at home and my family from falling apart. How am I supposed to deal with this at my age? I carried on thinking about how strange my life would be without my mum, my best friend, my rock. She was always there for me no matter what, through thick and thin. Yeah we had our ups and downs but who doesn’t? What family do you know that never seriously has any problems? Well my problems where just about to get bigger. I was lying down just thinking when I must of dozed off for a bit cause I woke up to the sound of dads voce and him banging on my bedroom door hard. I had locked it before I went to bed. I knew he was angry but he was also ait nuts.

“Rhianna! Open this fucking door now!” he shouted to loud I’m sure that the house at the end of our road heard. He was naturally loud but when he’s shouting it’s just unbelievable. He banged the door so hard it gave way and there he was in my room, our eyes locked together. “Where’s your mum?” he asked screwing me. I was scared to answer cause I knew he’d be pissed cause I let her go “i-i-i don’t k-know” I said hesitating a little before replying, my hands shaking. “what do you mean you don’t know?!” he kissed his teeth narrowing his eyes “s-s-she went somewhere” I said tears running down my face as I remembered what happened earlier. “Why the fuck are you crying? You knew she was going and didn’t try and stop her. Dumb bitch,” he went on and on and on till he got fed up and took of his belt. I hid under my covers for protection “why the fuck are you crying?” he screamed again. The quilt surrendered as it could no longer protect me anymore. I screamed every time the black leather hit my skin. It felt like a million bolts running through my body. The worst feeling I ever had in my life. My skin turned from black to scarlet red. Tears fell from my scorching eyes, and ran along my cheeks. When he was done he backed away breathing hard, his face all red and I could see his eyes glistening with tears that threatened to fall but never did.

I just lay there crying my eyes out, first my mum leaves me then my dad beats me because he can’t take it. My life was a wreck and I couldn’t take it, I couldn’t even move away from this area and forget about this chapter in my life because I had no family, I was alone in a world full of hate. My dad blamed me for my mum leaving and for that I started hating her, and my mum ran away from me and my dad cause she couldn’t take living with him and for that I hated him. I began thinking in my head. I thought until my head hurt and when that happened I just closed my eyes and thought some more until I fell asleep. Even my dreams were full of hate. Hate for my mum, hate for my dad, hate for me; my life. I had to do something about it, what? I didn’t know yet. But I knew it would change my life forever. Nothing would ever be the same again. This was going to be a new chapter in my life, my fresh start. But the question is what I ready for everything that would come with it...

_____________

new chapter out soon

yeah i know this is short the new one will be ou much sooner sorry for the wait

comment and vote please