Am I Pretty Yet?

Chapter Thirteen

*This chapter has been edited 12/21/16.*

"We have to find you the perfect dress for the catwalk on Friday," Richel sighed as she pined through yet another rack of clothes.

We were at the mall. It was already eight o'clock on a school night. Needless to say, I wasn't exactly over the moon happy about shopping this late. But I knew if I tried so much as to disagree, Richel might explode. So, I willed myself to go along with the plan since she'd dragged a very grumpy napping Parker out of bed to drive us to our, or rather my, dress destination. As soon as we got to the mall, he sleepily grumbled that he would be waiting in the car for us while he, quote: "resumed the hours of sleep that had been snatched away."

"Would you quit calling it that? Catwalk," I snorted, rolling my eyes and running my fingers lightly over a long, flowy beige colored dress with a silver sequined bodice. "Can I try this one on? It looks nice."

Richel huffed, turning around. Her eyes did a full length scan of the dress I held up with both hands by the hanger. She nodded, and I walked over to the dressing room area. The main pro about shopping just near closing time was that lines had grown smaller, so there wasn't much of a wait. The con was that it felt eerily quiet, with only the occasional squeaking of wheels on the cart of the janitor passing by. Only a small handful of stores were open. The rest had their gates shut and locked. The food court was barely breathing, and only one fast food joint called Pizza Pizza (because everything sounds better when repeated) was awake. A skinny teenage boy manned the register, but he was just barely awake. When we'd passed by him, I was almost tempted to order two pepperoni pizzas just to give him something to do, but Richel stopped me immediately.

Pizza had grease and fat and wasn't good for me, apparently.

As I entered the dressing room, I was faced with three full length mirrors. One was in front of me, the other two to my right and left. Triple Ninas, all staring back at me and waiting for the verdict of this first dress. I felt the silence slice into my skin as I undressed, first taking off my jeans and then my T-shirt. I sucked in a breath as I tilted my chin to the right and observed myself. Not too much going on in the chest area. There wasn't even a chance that I could overflow my bra. My thighs awkwardly stuck together, and my knees seemed a bit knobby to me. I placed my hands on my hips and tried smiling, then stopped when it appeared too forced and fake. Next, I tried shooting myself a sultry look, ones that I'd always seen plastered on billboards on the highways or in Cosmopolitan magazines. It looked like I needed to go to the bathroom.

In just four days I would be walking across a stage, expected to strut and act like I did this all the time: modeled and participated in beauty pageants. I was supposed to make it seem as if this was all second nature to me, and it wasn't.

Not at all, not any small piece of it.

I was taking everything in for the first time with a new, fresh pair of eyes and perspective. The girl in the mirrors looked so small and so scared and so unsure of herself. I wanted to hug her, but then I'd really only be hugging myself.

"Everything is going to be okay, Nina," I whispered, making direct eye contact with myself in the mirror. "No matter what happens."

"What was that, Nina?" Richel called from the outside, and I jumped, clutching the dress to my practically naked body.

"Nothing! Just a cough."

Then as quickly as possible, I jammed myself into the dress, shimmying my hips and jumping up a bit to get the bodice to fit and fall properly beneath my shoulders. It was a strapless, something I hadn't even noticed until I was wearing it. I took a deep breath, then stepped out of the dressing room. I didn't bother looking back into those three mirrors. Richel looked up from her cellphone, her jaw dropping.