my sexual abuse story

one

I'm not really sure where to start with my story because I don't remember when the abuse started. I blocked most of it out. So I will start when it was reported and will have some flashback type things here and there.

I was in fourth grade. I remember he had abused me that evening before dinner. By the time he was, I guess, finished with me, my mom was calling us down for dinner. After dinner, it was more of a "typical" night. I was laying on the couch watching tv and my dad and sister were both in there with me. I remember falling asleep on that couch. My sister went in my mom's room to talk to her - I didn't know what it was about. Soon my mom came and woke me up. She took me in her room. She looked at me very serious and said, "I need you to tell me the truth. Has Jeremy ever touched you?"

There was a long pause. I nodded and said, "Yes."

I don't remember anymore of that conversation. I just remember going back in the living room and falling asleep on the couch again. When I woke up a few hours later, I looked over and there were policemen in my house behind a lady in a suit. I got really scared. I asked my mom if Jeremy was going to jail. The lady told me that the police were there to protect her incase someone tried to hurt her. Then my mom told me that Jeremy was going away for a while.

I was only 9 years old. My brother was 16. When you are that young you tend to look up to your older siblings. He had told me everything he was doing was okay and that if I told anyone what was happening I would get in trouble. I remember at that age that I would do anything to keep from getting in trouble. So I kept the secret.

As it turned out he was abusing my sister too, who was 11 at the time. She was the one that told my mom that night.

I'm 16 now. I've been thinking about what had happened to me a lot the past year. If he hadn't been abusing my sister, she would've never told my mom. If she never told my mom, he would've never stopped. I have this fear that if he was still abusing me to this day, I would be too terrified to tell anyone.