The Rant Book Of Hetalia (And Others?)

Rant One; USUK

Written by 13/Otaku-Kun

USUK. One of the most popular ships in our amazing fandom of Hetalia. In my personal opinion, this ship won't work. Now, before you all begin shouting at me and saying that it's so adorable and they belong together, let me tell you why I think that it won't work out.

Reason 1: England raised America. If this doesn't raise a red flag with you, then think. If someone raised you and called you brother/sister, would you be attracted to them the way half this fandom insists America and England are attracted to each other?
And I know what you're thinking. "But Otaku-Kun, what about SpamAno?! Spain raised Romano!" Indeed, Spain did raise Romano. But in a different context from America and Britain. Spain had Romano call him "Boss" (though Romano enjoyed calling him "bastard" instead), rather than "brother". Do you see the difference there?

Reason 2: The Revolutionary War. Now, there's a lot of talk over why America revolted against Great Britain. In true history that we learn in America, it's because, basically, Britain was too controlling. So, I can honestly say that my history lessons that I had before I found this fandom has influenced me when it comes to this ship.
Fangirls, however, disagree with the history, and simply go for theories of their own such as, "America rebelled because he wanted Britain to stop seeing him as a little brother," or, "They just staged the war for drama." Quite honestly, as an American person who has read many history book, all because it's my favorite subject, I am rather offended by such an idea as the second one as it was a very important war in our history. The first idea I can see working, but then, if America was pursuing a romantic relationship with England, why did he break his heart, team up with two others who enjoy fighting with England, and ultimately tear his family apart? It just would make it all seem pointless.
Those are the two main theories I have seen for the war. If you have any, feel free to share them, so I can hear more.

Reason 3: ANGST. This ship would be pure angst because of the hurt America caused Britain when he revolted and rebelled. The way I see it is England would always be scared that America would leave him again. I think it would always just hurt our favorite Englishman to be in a relationship with his former charge. Heck. America is even part of the reason why England is so distant and tsundere-like. Because the last person he reached out to and actually loved...broke his heart and left him in the rain. And it's haunted him. It's haunted America too, because he feels so guilty about hurting the person who raised him. This ship is just PURE ANGST. They both would be so scared of hurting each other again, but since neither of them really show emotion (Except America when he's being a baby), they would never tell each other, leaving unresolved tensions between the two. That tension would leave a rocky foundation that wouldn't be able to support their relationship.

There are ways this ship might work. For example, tons of merchandise you see in the U.S.A. has the Union Jack on it, and BBC has many great show enjoyed by Americans such as Doctor Who, Sherlock, and Humans. This makes it obvious that America does care for England. Not to mention, many bands such as Muse, The Beetles, and (Don't Hate!) One Direction have come from the U.K., and are incredibly popular in the U.S. Plus, Americans love British accents (Or, we just hate American accents and like foreigners in general. Unless that's just me). So, like I said, America very obviously cares for England. But in what way? We don't know. Only Hima-san will tell us that, but most likely not anytime soon as that's what makes Hetalia fun. Shipping all the cute gay boys. Cuz...you know. Yaoi.

But seriously, I may not ship this, but I am NOT saying you can't. All I'm saying is why I don't ship it, and ways it could work. This is simply my opinions based on my knowledge of history, America's Storage Closet, and Britain's personality. Now, if you would please leave your own personal thoughts in the comments, that would be wonderful. If you'd like to have a polite debate, simply send this account, with me specified, or my regular account a PM with your own opinions and such.

Thank you for reading.