I came here with the intention of writing a part, to express what I'm currently feeling.
But honestly, I don't have the strength for rhymes.
I silently crying right now, so my sister and her guest don't hear.
My nose is stuffed, my eyes feel weird and I've got a headache coming on.
I'm tired, yet not sleepy.
I'm not sure what I'm tired of.
I'm in pain, emotional pain and I'm feeling emotionally unstable...again.
My throat hurts though, so that's physical.
I'm grieving.
An eight year old loss.
A loss I didn't even grieve on its anniversary.
Does that make me a bad person?
I'm sad because I'd like to talk to someone about how I feel, but I don't have those kind of friends or that kind of Dad and I'm not usually an emotional person.
I have no doubt that my friends would be clueless as to how to handle me, all but one.
But even then, none of my best friends and I are that close
Ironic.
So I'm going to keep it inside, like I always do, morn and cry and pity myself and my life, silently.
On the inside.
I'm sorry for depressing you but that's just how I feel.
I'm worried about myself and I don't know who to tell.
I might slowly lose my mind or just crack someday but when it happens, I'll be glad for the release.
Thankful, selfharm has always seem extremely stupid to me.
So that's not something I have to worry about.
I just want someone to talk to.
Someone who'll understand.
Someone who won't make me feel as if I need professional help.
I understand and internalize myself enough to know its nowhere near that serious.
But thank you for providing on outlet.
I feel much better now.
Thank you.
