Out There

8. Neen

“In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.”
 -Maya Angelou

Neen was tossing in her sleep. It had been a little over a week since the conversation with her parents and Andy’s. She hadn’t slept well since. It seemed like the right thing to do, to make them feel just a fraction of the pain Neyna and Andy had felt, but it had been mean spirited.

She rolled over and glanced at the clock— six AM— and groaned. She couldn’t sleep. She checked her phone, and the only bright spot was her text from Andy.

“Good morning princess, starting my day at 6AM.” There was a kissy face emoji next to it. If she had had the energy, she would have giggled. She settled herself with the idea of giving up sleep as she texted back.

Her first stop was the bathroom, and after that she was off to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. At first, her plan was to grab a good book from her shelf and read on the couch, but the tuft of blonde hair sticking up reminded her that wasn’t going to be an option.

It was weird seeing him there, in a good way. She tried to be as quiet as she could, tiptoeing around the kitchen, opening and closing cabinets without making a sound. She was cautious with the coffee can and the water she needed to add to the pot. She relaxed only when the machine was on and working.

“Why in God’s name are you awake right now, Neen?” His voice startled her so much that she dropped the dirty filter in her hand on her way to the garbage.

“Blake! What the hell! You scared me.” She was clutching her furiously beating heart. He stuck his head over the edge of the couch and gave her a sheepish grin. His hair was ruffled and there was stubble on his cheek again. He licked his dry lips and Neen’s stomach bottomed out.

“Come back to bed Neen it’s six in the fucking morning. You don’t wake up this early, ever.” He motioned to her side and she only hesitated for a moment. She glided over to his side, curling up next to him without giving her body permission.

She sighed, content, as he ran his fingers over her hair. She wrapped her arms around his neck and listened to the sound of his heartbeat. It was as fast as hers.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” She said quietly, tracing circles around his stomach because she was nervous. Her cheeks warmed.

“You didn’t,” he lied, “now what’s going on?” He was praying she’d stop so that he could get the lump out of his throat but he didn’t want her to stop because it felt so damn good. He wanted to pull her on his lap, but at this point he really couldn’t.

She sighed before answering, trying to put off the guilt that seemed to be eating at her. She wanted to skirt the question, but she didn’t want to ask him about Janelle, which was really her only good distraction technique, because that would dredge up his pain. She resigned herself to answer while he waited patiently.

“I feel bad about my parents. I can tell it’s bothering Andy. She hadn’t stopped talking about her dad all week. I think we’re going to cave soon.” She told him, biting her lip. A sharp bolt of near pain went through him when he looked down at that expression on her face.

“Good,” he nodded, “you should talk to them. Tell them you’re ready to move on. Just be prepared because I know your mom hates when you don’t do things on her terms.” He warned. He entangled himself from her arms— to check on the coffee, he told himself and her— but it was really to control his body’s reaction to her.

“You think? I’m a little nervous. I don’t want her to trample me. I’m not giving up on Andy. She gets me, you know?” Neyna confessed, reaching for the remote. She turned on the TV, smirking when ESPN was the channel that was on. She left it there, and turned it down, even though it was the highlights from the night before.