I couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, Osgar reared up in my mind. I relived what he'd done to me, what he would do to Will, and the visions wouldn't let me rest. Eventually I gave up trying, resorting instead to watching Fenn sleep.
That occupied me for a little while. Goodness knows he was gorgeous, sprawled out on the bed next to me, naked and glorious. I would've had to be blind not to be distracted by him, at least for a little while. His tanned and inked flesh, combined with rippling muscle, made for an exquisite vision of masculinity. More than once I reached out, touching the tattoos on his wrists or pressing my palm to his chest just to feel his warmth. He was, as he well knew, quite the specimen.
Still, it was strange to need the physical contact with someone other than Conn. It was strange to crave a touch, proximity, and to know that I loved the person next to me. And I did love him... Not the way I loved Conn. Not yet, if it would ever develop so deeply. Still, it was there, that thread which made me crave the sound of his laughter and the brush of his fingers against mine. That tie which would ensure that I would hurt when he hurt, would laugh when he was happy, and would fight for him when he was in danger.
However, as the hours dragged on, even watching Fenn failed to distract me from my fears. There were still hours left until dusk when I gave up on resting and pulled myself from the bed to tug on my clothes. Having selected a katana from among the weapons which Lex had brought from Milbank when she'd delivered my belongings, I headed outside.
The sun was still high and a little too bright for my oversensitive eyes, but I enjoyed its warmth on my skin as I ran through a series of katas. Each time I ran through a sequence of moves, I sped up, concentrating on maintaining my precision even as I increased my speed. It gave me something to focus on, and even as my muscles began to ache with the strain of remaining in a state of perpetual motion, I used the burn to keep my mind from returning to Will, or to my seemingly inescapable past.
I'm not sure how long I'd been working on my technique with a blade when Fenn strode out from the tipi. He was in low slung jeans but had decided all other clothing was unnecessary. I'd never known anyone with his shameless self-assurance. Even as an often-overconfident mortal, Leof hadn't been quite as in-your-face as Fenn. Somewhere along the way I'd come to appreciate his persona.
My wolf's brash pride had been abrasive to start with. The very arrogance that let him charm his way under my defences had irritated me unbearably. However, I had learned how much doubt and self-loathing were hidden behind his mask of assurance. Yes, he knew he was stunning. Yes, he knew he could seduce. But he used his confidence in those things to hide that he lacked faith in his ability to lead wisely, and somehow, understanding that made his outward confidence all the more alluring.
There was something undeniably attractive about a sexy man who knew he was hot, but who had a good heart under the showy arrogance. It was a winning combination. Lowering my sword, I went towards him. My fingers traced over his sculpted abs, then I wrapped my arms around him and pressed a kiss to his lips.
He smiled against my mouth, murmuring, "Let me keep you?"
"That's the intention, Abroðen," I laughed as I leaned my head against his chest.
"Couldn't you sleep?" Fenn asked, while stroking my back.
I shook my head. "Not really. Mix of nightmares and worry. I tried. I stayed in bed for as long as I could, but eventually it was either get up and do something, or go mad. I needed to distract myself."
"You should have woken me up," he whispered as his thumbs pressed slow, seductive circles down my back. "I could have kept you distracted."
Closing my eyes, I forced my body to relax against his, enjoying the warmth of the sinking sun and the physical contact. "I'll remember that when I can't sleep later. How long until we can go and meet your contacts?"
