Teardrops On the Windowpane

Chapter 1

Death is a natural part of life. You are born, cared for, grow up, live on your own, raise your own children, and eventually die. People do bad things in life. They make bad decisions on an impulse or a whim. People say 9/11 is one of the worst things that's ever happened, and up until now I've believed them. But not anymore.

For everyone else, life moves on. They go back to their normal lives, living as if only a ghost of a memory remained. For me, nothing is the same anymore. And it never will be again.

As I walk down the busy city street, the hustle and bustle of businessmen and women walking past me is strangely soothing. All the noise makes me think more about the present, and less about him. It almost helps me forget. Almost. But then something happens, and I see or hear some strange event that leads me to remember him. The way his hair smelled, the way his grin made me want to smile even when I was in the worst mood. The cologne he wore because he knew I loved it. All of that came back to me, and I stopped in the middle of one of the busiest streets in the city, where the light had just turned green.

I heard the honking of horns and squealing of tires across the wet city street. I didn't care. I was still thinking about him, and what he would say if he had been with me right then. Someone screamed. My name, someone else's name; I wasn't sure.

It was a miracle I was still alive, but then again, I don't believe in miracles. The rain only made it worse. It seemed as if the sky was still crying. And so was I. I kept walking, hoping for something to happen. Anything that would get my mind off of him, even for a little while.

Before I cut off all communication with the world, people told me "It's not your fault. It's going to be okay. Just don't let it bring you down. Stay strong."

I've heard those words many times, and I still don't know how people can manage to stay strong when such a tragic incident happens. It's as if the whole world disappeared, and now it's just me. Everything is blocked out by a haze. I guess that's why I didn't see the truck. Not until it was too late, anyway.