A Dalish Hope

I loved her. I don't remember when I first realized it but I just knew. The problem was, did she love me? And I was so afraid to tell her. What if she said no? A Hunter fears nothing but the chance that Realin would love someone else scared me. I should tell her before it was too late. She'd managed to get out of helping Master Ilen, he and Varathorn both were always trying to convince her that her hands would be better suited for the Craft than the Hunt. They should have known better when she chose Andruil's vallaslin. Everyone knew that she was the former Keeper's daughter and we all knew she'd witnessed her father and brother's deaths, an event that had traumatized her. Marethari had made everyone promise not to tell her the truth of what really happened. I understood why. Realin was a strong-willed woman. And a bit on the insane side. I wouldn't doubt her killing every human she saw to avenge her family. So instead, she was lied to and told it was spirit-possessed trees that had killed them.

I had always admired Realin. She was the best Hunter the clan had. And the smoothest talker. I can't count how many times she, Fenarel, Merrill, and I had gotten into trouble. She always talked us out of it. Save for the time we turned the camp topsy turvy brawling. I was caught and Realin's silver tongue couldn't get me out of that trouble. I spent a week cleaning up the camp, Marethari wouldn't allow her to help me. But now we were adults. We were expected to bond and start our own families. And I was choosing her.

Today. Today I would tell her I loved her and ask for her hand. Today would be the day I confessed everything to her. But the Creators had a different path planned for us. They always said curiosity killed the cat and I was afraid my stupidity killed her. The Shems had told us about the cave and the lure of finding some secret of our people was too much for me to resist. And, naturally, Realin went with me. But all we found were spiders, walking corpses, and a worn statue. Then we found the mirror. The only thing in these entire ruins that wasn't marred with centuries of grime. I saw the movement and I had to take a closer look. Realin was cautious and I teased her about it. But for once, she was serious. She didn't like the feeling in the air and warned me several times to get away from the mirror. But my curiosity got the best of me and I did something I will forever regret. I touched it. A creature that looked suspiciously like a dragon appeared and we locked gazes. I couldn't look away! I felt Realin rush forward and then the blast of light. Hands roughly grabbed me and I lost my bearings. And Realin.

The song. The beautiful song. It was constantly in my head. I tried to block it but I couldn't. It sang to me. It told me to do things I didn't want to do. I lost my mind, my hair, my humanity. I lost the only thing I'd ever loved. I wasn't Dalish. I wasn't Tamlen anymore. I didn't know what I was. I could barely remember who I was. I only knew the pain and the song. Get out of my head! Leave me alone! We were sent to deal with some of the fabled Grey Wardens. I saw her face again. Her swords were frozen in mid-attack. She knew me for who I was. I thought she was dead. I never expected to see her again. Not in this world. She was a Grey Warden now, sworn to kill creatures like me.

"You..." I couldn't believe I was seeing her. My soul. "Realin..."

She took a step back, lowering her weapons. "Mercy of the Creators!" she cried. "It can't be!"

I didn't want her to remember me like this. I wanted her to remember her best friend. The man who'd she'd been friends with since childhood. The goofball. The brawler. Not the creature I was now.

"Don't... don't come near me! Stay away!"

"Stay back, everyone."

I couldn't see who she spoke to. I could only see her. My Realin. My love. The one the song wanted me to kill. Seeing her face again gave me the resistance I desperately needed. I ran, ashamed at what I'd become. I hadn't expected her to chase after me.