Beautiful Disguise

Chapter Two

It felt wrong being at the hospital.

Everything was sterile, the walls were achingly white, and my shoes squeaked on the linoleum. It was also strange to be here for a person I hadn't talked to in weeks. A person who had hurt me.

But now he was the one hurt, physically. When my mom and I had first arrived at the hospital there were quick hugs between us and Calum's family, hugs that were a little too tight but felt like what you needed in order to keep yourself together. There were hushed whispers between Calum's mom and my mom, something about a car accident, a currently unidentified driver who had caused the crash. I didn't really want to hear more at the moment, so I distracted myself with one of the old magazines on the coffee table in front of me.

Calum's family, luckily, knew very little of the boy Calum had become thanks to Ashton. They also didn't know that Calum and I weren't talking, and, thus, didn't question why I was waiting in the hospital with them. It felt strange, like there was this importance that I was there, and yet I didn't know how Calum would actually feel if he knew that I was one of the one's who had shown up, worried. I silently hoped that he would be thankful that I was here, but somehow I felt like that wasn't the correct answer.

His family got to see him first, of course. Once they stood up and left I couldn't help but imagining the aching cry his parents must have given when they saw him. Their little boy, hurt and in pain. The doctor had told us prior to seeing Calum that he was still unconscious, mostly in the hopes of letting his body help to heal itself. His family was gone for a long time, sitting in his room and watching him, talking to him, I'm sure. I hoped that just their presence would make things a little better.

Later, I was able to see Calum. My heart was beating so fast as I approached the door to his room. I considered not going in the room at all, simply staying down this hallway for what would seem like an appropriate time to visit Calum before going back to the waiting room and rejoining his family. However, once I placed my hand on the door handle I felt my body relax – it was Calum, and even though I had been mad at him he was hurt and he had still been my best friend.

Goosebumps raised on my skin as I entered the room. It was cold, and the only sounds were the whirring of all the machines Calum was attached to along with the steady beeping of his heart monitor. The sound was soothing, it showed that he was still alive.

Calum, though, hadn't ever looked worse, not even that one time he got chicken pox and broke his arm in the same week back in elementary school. I could taste bile in the back of my throat as I watched him; his face was bruised – mostly on the right side – his wrist was in a cast, and he wore a neck brace. His eyes were closed as if he were sleeping, and even though he was hurt I selfishly couldn't help but feel a rush of nostalgia seeing his face so relaxed. When he had fallen victim to Ashton's antics he had almost put on this mask, this façade of pretentiousness. Now, though, completely out of control of his demeanor, he looked as if he were my best friend again. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to remind myself that he wasn't my best friend again. He could easily wake up and hurt me again.

I inched closer to the hospital bed, unsure whether it was appropriate to hold Calum's hand or not. The last time he'd touched me it was the last thing I had wanted. But now it felt necessary.

His skin was as warm as it ever was, and I could only reach his fingers, considering the rest was bound in a cast, but a calm seemed to settle in my nerves just from that simple touch. It was Calum. It was always Calum.

Soon I headed back to the waiting room, finding Calum's family slowly dozing off, their exhaust from the long night kicking in. I smiled softly at my mom, sitting next to her.