With love Simon

miss you

POV JUNE:

Tears run down my face fast and I don't know how to stop this painful flow.

I try to rub my eyes with the palms of my hands, breathe loudly and snort because I hate my vulnerability in these cases.

I feel totally broken and full of regrets, because the only thing I want now is to return to Simon's arms, but the truth of the facts does not allow me to do so.

I need to recover before I go home. I can't make myself look so vulnerable.

The front door is a few steps from where I am and I'm afraid to walk in there. The last time I walked in I thought a new chapter had just started with Simon, but everything changed in a couple of hours.

I don't know what to expect once I cross that threshold, I just hope Nora hasn't been invited back to dinner. I need some time for myself, because I haven't metabolized the situation that has arisen.

I wish everything was easier.

I would like Simon to come in as usual through my bedroom window, but he will never come.

I've hurt him completely and I can't expect anything more.

June, what are you saying? He lied to you and you're waiting for him to come and apologize?

I'm more pathetic than all the people I make fun of.

I walk in through the front door and the first person I see inside is Nora, I don't know what to do.

Maybe I should tell her that I've been cold all day with him and that we're "done".

" Hey June! I've come to spend some time with you... I hope you're not mad at me, right?"

"Nora, it's obvious that I'm not angry with you, but I'm mad at another person, and I have every reason to do so." I answer, trying to be as convincing as possible. I'll never be able to really be mad at him.

" Great answer! I'm glad you figured out which side you're on. All of us are happy."

"Me too, but if you have better things to do, don't worry, Simon won't come here for sure."

"I'm sure of it, June!" she strokes my hair and takes my face in her hands, "I trust your common sense, then Simon will have understood that you are not meant to be together. You're too good and too naïve to stand beside him."

"Your tone of voice is insulting." I look down laughing and Nora lifts her face into her hands, so she can look me in the eye.

"You don't understand that he would rip everything off you if he could. He'd leave you alone, broken, and sore if he could."

"How do you know, Nora?" I ask her, I feel tears reappear on my face "How do you know that would be so bad?" I take a breath and continue, "As you know he doesn't feel anything sincere for me. Tell me and I'll believe you."

"I know because Simon doesn't do anything by accident. He's got some well-thought-out moves, and you're just a hand of cards. You are nothing to him."

Nora shakes me, as if she wants to wake me up from my dreams, "Did you hear me, June? You are a speck in infinite space for Simon. You are dust crumbling in his hand. Are you ready to dissolve?"

In his voice I hear only coldness and anger, not even a hint of understanding towards me.

"Maybe you're underestimating me, Nora. Maybe it's me playing and he's a puppet manipulated by me. Haven't you ever thought about that?" I answer laughing, how could he take me seriously!