Whims

Dejavu

Here I am.

Staring at these pills in my hand.

Thinking,

"Is this enough to kill me?"

And then, suddenly,

I felt a sudden rush of tears running down to my face.

"Do I really want to die?"

"Ah, yes. I remember. They are better off without me."

"They will be better..."

Then my hands start trembling,

Trying to silence my cries, so nobody would hear me.

.........

Do you know how many times this scenario has already happened?

Many times.

Way too many.

That I am becoming tired.

That maybe the next time it happens.

It will be the last time.