Something Gained: A Billionaire Romance

Chapter: 58

ELENA

I gently pushed the door open and peeked in. Ava was fast asleep in her bed with her mouth open. She looked adorable sleeping.

"Ava misses you." I was startled by Stacey's voice. She was stealth enough for me to not notice her standing behind me. "The child loves you and this distance between you two, it's killing her."

My eyes strayed back to Ava's face. I was failing her too wasn't I?

Besides, you're doing an amazing job at it. I couldn't have been a better mother to her.

Liliana's words rang in my ears. I was letting her down. Ava had no part to play in whatever happened in the past few days but she was still suffering. Not at all what my sweet angel deserved.

I would make it right, I silently promised.

................................

Until We Meet Again.

Dad's headstone read.

I wondered what it was like, after death. Was it peaceful? Was Dad in peace? Was he looking over us?

A sigh escaped my lips as I hugged my knees to my chest. It was cold, the uncomfortable type. But there was something too calming about this place. At some point of time there were as many as a dozen people in this huge cemetery. They all had eventually left. I didn't know how long I had been sitting here but it felt right.

Suddenly I heard footsteps, hurried ones. I whipped my head around to see a presence looming over me. Rylan. He stared down at me with clenched jaws. I was hardly on my feet when he grabbed my elbow and turned me around. He scrutinized me top to bottom, checking for what seemed like injuries. He cursed under his breath before I was crushed in a hug. As I stood there comprehending what had happened, his grip around me tightened. I let myself be enveloped by the musk of his cologne.

Rylan pulled back after a long minute only to stare at my face. "You got me so fucking worried!"

The unfiltered concern in his voice made my insides warm.

"I'm sorry." I apologized. His eyes flicked back to where Dad lay buried and the frown softened before I once again had his attention.

"Are you ready to go?" I nodded after stealing one quick glance back. He led me outside to where his car stood. As I was leaving, the weight on my chest felt a lot lighter.

"I'll—I need a shower." Rylan looked up at him while unstrapping his watch. That silent stare, I wasn't sure how to feel about it. I knew it made me nervous.

He took his time walking up to me. Confused, I took his hand before he was leading me towards the bathroom.

"Are we taking a shower together?"

"Yes." I exhaled, not knowing if at the moment I was in the mindset for this.

Rylan helped me take off every piece of clothing till I was standing completely bare for his eyes. He himself stripped and walked us into the shower. The warm spray hit my shoulder, instantly making me sigh in relief. Picking up the bottle of my shampoo, he squirted some of it on the palm of his hand. I closed my eyes as he massaged my scalp.

He lathered and cleansed every part of me and was so focussed on it. Never did his hands travel anywhere that wasn't necessary. There was nothing sexual about this shower. It was practically fucking stupid of me to even think that Rylan would initiate anything when I was grieving.

I properly stared at him for the first time in all these days. He looked exhausted. There were dark patches under his eyes from the lack of adequate sleep. Drowning in my own sorrow I had failed to realize something.

I wasn't the only one grieving, was I?

Rylan had grieved silently, all the while trying to support me and I had blissfully overlooked the magnitude of his suffering.

I gently touched the side of his face. His hands instantly went still and he looked up. The water trickled down the dark strands of his hair.

"I failed you, didn't I?" My thumb grazed his cheekbone. "I failed to look past my own sorrows." I swallowed. "I'm sorry."

Rylan tilted his head and stared at me, unblinking. "You're apologizing for mourning?"

"I'm apologizing for not being there for you like you were there for me. You were hurting too, weren't you? We both lost the baby, not just me."

There was a slight tick in his jaw.

"Stop apologizing for every fucking thing, Love." He brushed the wet strands of hair off my face before gently cupping my face. "You didn't fail me. You can never fail me."

I let myself bask in the warmth radiating off his hand. I needed that to ask the question I had been meaning to.

"Did you—did you want a baby?"

There. I let it out. I had assumed that he would want another child and circumstances didn't give me the chance to know if he did. I braced myself for Rylan's answer as he spent another long second gazing into my eyes.

"I still do." I blinked, heavy breaths being the only sound filling the space between us before he quickly added. "Only when you're ready."

Rylan was so fucking perfect. How did this man always have all the right things to say?

"You know you're the best thing that ever happened to me." I said, my heart swelling with nothing but so much love for this man.

The corner of his lips tugged in a small smile. Rylan Parker was beautiful. The devastatingly handsome kind.

"You're stealing my words, Love."

Those damn butterflies!

"Can I come in?" Took me a lot of courage to finally knock at her door. She could say no, she could refuse to see me and as bad as it would hurt, I would be deserving it. Ava had all her art supplies sprawled all over the floor and she sat in the middle of it.

She looked up from her sketchbook, taking a few seconds before nodding. I walked in, careful not to step on anything.

I sat down on the floor in front of Ava. "What are you drawing? Let me see."

"A butterfly. It's beautiful." I smiled at her but it wasn't reciprocated. She sat staring at me, looking a little shocked. Couldn't blame her though. My behavior was probably giving her a whiplash.

"Aren't you gonna talk to me?"

Ava's eyes glossed over. Her lips wobbled. "Mommy."

"Come here." I pushed the sketchpens out of her way and she at once crawled into my outstretched arms. The moment she was in my reach, I pulled her to my lap and wrapped my arms around her. "I'm sorry, sweetheart! I'm so, so sorry!"

"I thought you didn't love me anymore." Her voice quavered as she spoke. She was clinging to me like she was afraid that I would go back to ignoring her the moment she would let go. Her being this insecure felt like a pinch in the chest. I could've done better.

"That's not true, Ava. I love you with everything I have and I can never stop loving you." Pressing my lips against her head, I gently rocked us both, hoping that would soothe her. "Mommy was a little lost, sweetie. I know I disappointed you. But never again. I promise."

I pulled back to look at Ava's face. Her eyelashes were wet with tears. My heart clenched at the sight of it. "Will you forgive mommy?"

She nodded right away before going back to hugging me.

"I love you." I felt the relief sipping in at her words. I knew she would heal me, her presence would.

"I love you too, sweetheart, I love you so much."