.... I was 3 when my parents left me. I didn't think that it was a humane thing to leave a little girl in front of a grocery store in Seattle, it's been 14 years. After that I never saw them again. I jumped from state to state trying to find a foster home that would accept me. When I grow up I have always dreamed of finding them... but now to me it's like pretending to be a princess.
All I remember from my real family is watching my mom cooks and draw... she was a really good artist. My dad would watch football games with me. I had no idea what football was but I loved watching it with him. To be honest I miss them. Them leaving me is like having part of your heart ripped out of you. I don't remember what they looked like but just kind of thinking of them was comforting, but I can remember that my parents seemed really young to have a baby, that must have been why they left me.
Finally for the past 19 months I have been living in my new home. I am so tired after all this.. I have a nice family, parents, 2 older brothers, 1 younger brother and a baby sister... I have a home.
I have been to 14 schools in 4 years, and now I have 1 until the end of high school. When I came there were 2 people that greeted me.. they weren't afraid of the girl that was afraid... I was scared to make friends, I always have been because I knew sooner or later I would move and would miss them.
I don't have depression, although sometimes it feels that way. I have been cutting though. I'll cut my left wrist and keep count of how many families have given up on me. Nobody knows because I always wear bracelets.
My little brother checks on me every 5 minutes I think it's because 2 years ago right before I came he had another foster sister. She actually had depression and I guess she just couldn't stand it anymore. I bet you that can traumatize a 5 year old boy.
I love my friends and I couldn't stand to leave them. They always cheered me up, always had my back. I don't deserve them. And the only time I actually get to see them is during school.
Let's just say I absolutely couldn't hate school anymore than I already do. I am failing practically every class, almost got held back. And was suspended for 2 weeks. right after I found out I was getting held back I told the principle to go to hell.
One day I came to detention late and the staff asked me why I replied with "sorry someone told me to go to hell and I had trouble finding it but I'm here now." And that just about bought me detention for the rest of the year.
But I am not here to tell you about me.
