I'll Do It If You Do It

let's do it

"GET YOUR ASS UP AND CLEAN UP THIS DAMN HOUSE" my heart beats a thousand beats per secound as reaction to being woken in such a thoghtless way. my body is filled with adrenaline causing my hands to shake fear stiles through me as tears slip from my hazel eyes. i hastily get out of bed and start cleaning my messy room. i hate to admit it but my room looks horrible. i havent had any motivation to clean it what so ever. "GET YO DUMBASS OUT MY HOUSE IF THEY CALL ME SAYING YOU WHERE LATE TO CLASS IM BEATING YOUR ASS" my mothers voice blares through the house. i put on a baby blue and white stripped crop top with jean star covered overalls. it may be childish but its the fastest thing i could put on. i grab my black bag containing my laptop 2 notebooks and a few pencils some highlighters my computer charger and my phone charger. i grab my phone off my desk next to my door then running out the house. i went to school physically yesterday but i have applied for online school behind my moms back. was i terrified while doing it? yes. did i do it for no reason? no. i put myself in online school because being at school makes me want to kms. the "friends" i had would always treat me so horribly. I've never really had friends so i dont know if thats how friends are supposed to be. if it is then i would rather have bo friends for the rest of my life. i mean i would anyone want to be...i dont know. i guess it wasnt sexual assult if they were my friends right? like they were just joking around. whatever thats not the only thing. they always made me feel kinda left out. like i was in the group but i didnt exist. unless they wanted to...smack my ass or grab my boobs. my ex was in that friend group. she did a lot of things that i tried to tell the group about but everyone just took her side. even...my...best friend. but its fine. i was probably just being dramatic. i like being alone anyways. i arrive at a creek under a bridge near my house. i log into my computer and start doing my work. it's kind of hard to understand since im basically just watching videos but i think i can manage. i forgot to grab my headphone but without music im dead so i play my "diggity darn" playlist. assuming no one can hear me given that im litterly under a bridge.

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it has been about 4 or 4 hours and im starting to get hungry. i pack everything up and head to "ricks". its a coffe shop near by. as i walk i start texting my long distance friend. she seems to treat me better than the others.

me: ROSE
me: ROSE
me: ROSEEEEEEEEEE

rose: yes baby

me: we should totally run away together one day

rose:well i just got my license soooo😏

me: sooooo? what

rose:you wanna run away right?
rose:lets do it

me:are you sure?
me:what if we get in troble???
me:my mom will kill me

rose: tatum this was your idea what made you want to run away

me:i was kinda joking

rose: really?

me: yes but ig i would actually runway

rose:why

me: well...my mom hates me
me:and she always says how she hates kids and wish she never had me
me: so if i run away she wont have any kids
me:and her wish will come true
me: i could get away from everyone and everything
me:if im not here maybe everyone would be happier or better
me:kinda just running away and never having to worry about anything ever again

rose:tatum
rose: run away with me
rose:wait until i get a car then we can go
rose:but make sure you really want to do this ok?

me: ok

i go on google and search  "how to order a latay" i found out its spelled latte but besides that none of the searches were helpfull. ive been here for 10 minutes trying to muster up enough courage to ask for a ham and swiss sandwich. ok i got this its not even that big of a deal. you got this. wait i have to rehearse. can i get- no thats not polite. may i have a ham and swiss sandwish...please? should i say please? duh obviously you say please you dumbass. ok ok ok we got this while walking up to the counter i repeat in my head "may i have a ham and swiss sandwich please" over and over. when i reach the counter the beautiful barista gives me a soft smile "what can i get for you today" she flips her pink curtain bangs behind her ear. "swiss may have ham i a and please?" nothing came out right and my heart is thumping out of my chest. "shit" i whisper to myself. the barista giggles and hands me a pice kf paper and pencil. "write down your order hun and ill get it for you. "t-thank you" i say grabbing the pencul with my shaky hand writing as best i can. "write your bame too so i know who its for" i nod my head writing my name at the bottom of my order. she grabs the paper and starts making my food. i sit at one of the tables waiting patiently. my leg bounces with anxiety. ok just say thank you the  leave thats all you have to do. "TATUM" i jump slightly startled by tge sudden yell of my name. i get uo grab my order and say "thank yyou" and speed walk out the shop. i really need to stop being such a pussy. who the fuck is scared to speak to people. i walk home since my mom should be at work right now. i eat my food and go to sleep. i dont understand why im always so tired even though all my day consusts of is doing school work cleaning and being scared/ sad.