A/N: Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there! Happy Mother's Day, Chiara and Andeng ♡
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Tahimik kami ngayong naglalakad papunta sa room namin. Nagulat nalang kami na magkakasama pala kaming tatlo sa iisang room. Ako, si Raia, at si Xam.
"Are you comfortable spending the night with me?"
"Okay lang naman sa akin. I don't mind. As if we didn't spend most of our nights together before." Tumawa ako.
"Baka lang hindi ka comfortable kasi iba naman iyong noon at ngayon? That's what you said a while ago."
Natigil ako sa paglalakad. Tama nga naman, iba iyong noon at ngayon, pero okay lang naman kasi sa akin na nasa iisang room kami!
Hindi 'yon big deal!
"I can sleep on the couch..." He said.
"Hindi na kailangan. Magtataka ang anak mo kung ba't sa couch ka matutulog. You can sleep with us."
His eyes widened, para bang hindi siya makapaniwala sa sinabi ko.
"R-really? I can sleep with you? With Raia?"
"Yes, why not?"
Hindi parin siya makapaniwala. "I'm just overwhelmed. First time ko 'to."
Nang makarating kami sa kuwarto ay sabay naming pinagmasdan si Raia na natutulog sa king size bed habang naka kumot. She's wearing a pink terno.
Lumingon ako kay Xam, pilit niyang hindi pinapahalata ang nagbabadyang luha niya ngunit bigo siya, halata ko na 'yon.
Tumawa ako nang mahina.
"Bakit ka naiiyak?"
He chuckled and wiped his tears. "Tears of joy lang. I can't believe I have the chance to sleep with you two. I thought this day would never happen."
"Hinding-hindi ko ipagkakait kay Raia ang masayang pamilya, Xam. At hindi ko siya ipagkakait sa 'yo. She's your daughter."
Naglakad siya at agad naupo sa tabi ni Raia habang mahimbing siyang natutulog.
Tumingin siya sa akin. He smiled at me, but I could see the sadness on his face. I don't know why he's still sad when he's back with us now.
I walked to the sliding window to see the view outside. I could see the lights and the beach right there.
Napaisip ako...
Kung magbabalikan ba kami, hindi na kaya siya mawawala ngayon? Hindi na ba niya kami iiwan?
Kung mawawala siya, masasaktan si Raia. Okay nang ako ang masaktan kesa sa anak ko. Ayaw kong maranasan ni Raia ang naranasan ko noon. Sobrang bata pa ni Raia para maranasan iyon.
I'm scared that he'll leave us again soon.
But what if he won't leave this time? Should I face my fear and let go of the things that I don't have control over? Should I trust him more and believe that he won't leave us again? Should I take the risk?
But what if he leaves again?
Chiara, whether he leaves or not, it still hurts, so what's the difference? You should face your fear and let go of the traumas. Let yourself be happy again, let your daughter be happy again. When the time comes that he leaves again, then I think that's your fate, and you don't have control over it. And maybe it happens for a reason.
Nagulat ako sa biglang pag tikhim niya sa likod ko. Sa lalim ng iniisip ko, hindi ko na namalayang nasa likod ko na pala siya.
"Hindi ka pa matutulog?" Tanong niya. Nakatayo na siya ngayon sa tabi ko.
