Waves Of Her

Chapter 8: In-denial

CHAPTER 8

I painfully looked away and subtly held my throat. I could still feel her inhuman grip on my neck.

"Anong ginagawa mo dito?" I asked in a hoarse voice.

Napaubo ako pagkatapos nang maramdaman ko na parang may nasabit na alambre sa lalamunan ko. Feeling ko kaunting ubo ko na lang, lalabas na ang baga ko. Masakit pala masakal no. Now I wonder why some people lik---Oh, nevermind.

"Seriously, Luan? Kahit sa ganitong sitwasyon, nagagawa mo pa ring magbiro." naiiling niyang saad saka ako dahan-dahang inalalayan patayo.

Ugh. He can hear my thoughts, I forgot. I'll just pretend I didn't hear that.

"T-thanks." nag-aalangan kong pasalamat bago muling nag-iwas ng tingin.

I can't look at him. I don't know how to look at him. Nakakailang kase. Despite us knowing each other for more than a week only, a lot has happened already - with most of it not being good happenings.

We've laughed, enjoyed and shared short-lived memories together then ended up having fights and cutting connections.

Ngayon hindi ko na alam kung paano ko ba siya haharapin...o kung dapat ko pa ba siyang tapunan ng pansin pagkatapos ng ginawa niya sa akin?

"Luan, I know how much you're hurting...pero pwede bang bigyan mo ako ng pagkakataon na masabi 'yong side ko?" he pleaded.

Magkasag-op ang kaniyang dalwang kamay at nagpapaawang nakatingin sa akin. He is bending his knees so he could level his gaze on mine.

I can't help but notice the uncanny resemblance between him and a toad. Kulang na lang gayahin niya rin 'yong tunog ng palaka.

"What? Haha." tatawa-tawa niyang saad saka muling umayos ng tayo.

I don't know if he finds it offending or not but he still laughs at the most simple, ridiculous comments of mine.

'Yong mga ngiti at tawa niyang 'yon ang nagpapabilis ng tibok ng puso ko rati. How funny that I find it annoying now.

"And what do you think? Na itatrato pa rin kita katulad ng dati, after you put me under your freakin' spell?" mahinahon kong sagot ngunit may diin sa aking bawat salita.

He heaved out a sigh.

What is that for? Is it his way of showing his regret for what he did to save himself from the guilt? Kahit ano pa mang dahilan niya, 'di na no'n mababago ang pagkasira ng tiwala ko sa kaniya.

"If you could just give me a chance to explain, alam kong maiintindihan mo ko." saad niya saka sinubukang hawakan ang kamay ko.

I slapped his hand away and sharply looked at him.

"After betraying me, you're asking to be understood? Ang galing mo ha." di-makapaniwala kong turan.

Hindi niya sinubukang intindihin 'yong sitwasyon ko bago niya nagawang itago sa akin 'yong nalalaman niya. Hindi niya inisip kung anong mararamdaman ko bago niya ako ginayuma. He only thinks about himself and now he begs to be understood?

"No, hindi sa gano'n---"

"Ayokong marinig kung ano mang dahilan mo."

Tinalikuran ko siya at nagsimula akong maglakad papasok sa aking kwarto ngunit napatigil ako nang may sumagi sa isipan ko - si Genovah. 'Yong engkantada na nagpapahirap sa buhay ng kapatid ko ngayon.

She said if it wasn't for Gregory, matagal na niya akong sinaktan. I need to know what their connection is. Maybe, somehow, I could help my brother.

Dahan-dahan akong umikot at muling humarap sa kaniya.