Hold Me Closer

Chapter 10

One by one, all the students filed into homeroom and into their seats. A cool breeze flowed from the open window throughout the classroom, blowing Clare's hair in her face. She glanced down at the seat next to her, which was empty. Felix usually showed up early with Clare, but today he was missing. She worried if he was sick-or possibly lovesick.

Zinnia sat down in front of her. "Does Felix usually give you rides home?"

Of course she was asking about Felix. "...Sometimes."

"Well, if you want, I can give you rides home after school."

I'm guessing she doesn't want me so close to Felix. "I mean sure, if the weather is that bad that I can't walk." Shit, Clare thought, This feels so wrong. I wish I could just come clean to her and tell her that me and Felix have something going on. I feel so fake right now.

"Yay!" Zinnia said, looking over at Felix's empty seat. "I can't tonight, but tomorrow-Friday-I'm free. I can give you a ride then. Sound good?"

"Yeah, Zinnia. That'd be great."

Zinnia smiled brightly and turned back around to her desk. Clare stared at her back for a moment, contemplating if even getting involved with Felix at all was a good idea. Maybe she should have said no to touring him around the school and been cold toward him whenever they were together. Then maybe she wouldn't feel so guilty anytime she was faced with Zinnia's happy face. Zinnia didn't deserve Clare.

Clare rested her head down on the table in front of her and closed her eyes, trying to calm down all her feelings that were biting at her like a tiger. Maybe it was for the better that Felix didn't show up today and had to face the girl who chickened out of love because their Mom came downstairs.

~~~~~~~

Clare sat down at her friend's group's signature table, right by the edge of the cafeteria. Sunshine from a nearby window shone through onto their table, creating a relaxing atmosphere. Today's lunch was a soggy cheeseburger and beans. Gross as always. It was like they were being fed dog food.

Clare turned to Rebecca, who had brought her own lunch. "Do you have anything extra? I'm not about to eat... that," Clare poked at her beans, a grimace covering her face.

"You bet. I packed an extra sandwich just for this." Rebecca dug through her lunchbox for a second, then pulled out a ham and cheese sandwich. "Made by my Mom-makes it ten times better."

Clare chuckled. "Of course,"

Zinnia sat down at the opposite side of the table, which was unusual for her. She always sat by Clare for lunch. "Can Lizzie sit with us today, guys?"

"Why not?" Loralei said, her mouth full of food. "She's fun."

Then, Lizzie appeared out of nowhere, sitting next to Zinnia. "Hey everyone! Thanks for letting me sit here today. It can be a bit much with my other friends."

Why does Zinnia want Lizzie over here? She thought, biting into her sandwich. You'd think Zinnia would hate Lizzie. Clare watched as Zinnia and Lizzie zoned out the rest of the table's conversation, only focusing on their own. Clare could overhear only one word they were saying: Felix. She heard it over and over. Felix, Felix, Felix, Felix. It made her head hurt.

"Clare?" Lena said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You okay? You look pretty pale."

"Yeah..." Gem said in a worried tone.

"I'm not feeling too well," Clare fibbed, "I'm gonna go to the nurse." Picking up her stuff, she left the table, glancing back at Zinnia and Lizzie one last time.