On Love and Desire | ✔

6 | we should break up

CHAPTER SIX - we should break up

If there were words that could have potentially described how Desmond felt at the moment, he didn't know them. There were so many knots in his stomach. The beats of his heart were frantic. His hands were shaking. It made it difficult for him to hold his cup of hot chocolate. He had a task to do that day, and it was the worst thing he could possibly imagine. He had to use the guts he had failed to notice for all the years he'd been alive. He only just learned about them. He was riled up the day before until his brain somehow scanned through its dusty files and got the map to its directions. As soon as his brain found them, it tossed them directly to the front lines. Now he planned to do the same, except this time, he wouldn't be going through that experience without the knowledge of their existence. It was great. But it was also dreadful. Desmond had to get one good gulp of hot chocolate every one to two minutes to force all the dread down his throat. It kept building up, and he didn't want to throw it all up and freak out. He was about to finish his third large cup of hot chocolate. He would need to order another one soon from the cashier at the café.

He had told Mercy to meet him at the café at three o'clock in the afternoon, to make sure Mercy would have enough time to wake up on her own and get herself there on time. She always woke up late. Desmond, however, came a tad bit too early. Okay, too early. He came at two o'clock in the afternoon. What else could he have done? He was extremely nervous, and he would rather do his best to familiarize himself with the area around him to have some form of comfort in the temporary illusion of familiarity for a place he hardly knew and had only visited once. That illusion of familiarity could be what could have been able to help him push through the task at hand. Which, by the way, involved honesty. Being an honest bitch. Telling Mercy that he didn't see her as someone to be involved with in neither a romantic nor sexual manner. That he was asexual and aromantic. And that her mindset about the world was flawed. And that maybe, just maybe, she was someone like him. She did believe she had to pretend to feel things of both romantic and sexual nature, when she in fact felt nothing. If so, he had a proposal. It was one that she would love for sure. It had everything to do with the worldview she potentially grasped at straws with, yet it had nothing to do with it, either.

The day before; after he sent Mercy the text message about meeting up at the café, he didn't go to sleep straight away. Too many things had happened in the day by then, after all. His brain wasn't up for it. So what he did choose to do was play 'Tardew Valley.' Before he played the day before, he had been progressively growing closer and closer with his friend Robus as he lived his every day life as an all-around farmer; he grew all different sorts of fruits, vegetables, flowers, and magic plants depending on the world's seasons (Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall) . Oh, and he was also an adventurer of the mysterious caves with all sorts of monsters in them; from adorable to straight-up creepy. He loved to sell the collectibles he managed to find in them whenever he was lucky enough.

Whatever the case, as he grew closer to Robus, he also realized he was able to give Robus gifts. He chose to give him gifts that he took his time to care for or scavenge, like some of his valuable crops or interesting drops he'd get after defeating a monster from the mysterious caves. Robus liked them, and in turn, Robus also gave him access to special items in the game. While they benefited from each other, they also used the more extended amount of time they spent to bond. They were quick to become not just friends── but best friends forever. And not just in the regular sense that people would usually think of. Robus gave Desmond the opportunity to live together with him and live the rest of their lives together as committed platonic partners. They lived a quiet life together at the farm, and went on adventures together whenever they felt like it, too. They hugged and worried about each other's health, and general well-being. That made Desmond's heart feel extremely fuzzy. He looked it up online as soon as he had the chance, and eventually found out that the aroace forum he had been involved with discussed Robus' committed platonic partnership option as being something that was considered a queerplatonic relationship.