Undiscovered protégé

Chapter 6

"Her last moments were spent with the little blood she had left having no oxygen" I mutter to myself on the station's bathroom floor. My face is drenched in tears. My body is filled with nauseating anxiety along with hatred and disgust at the killer. My head hurts as I've been crying along with constantly tugging aggressively at my own hair. It's a strange thing that calms me down. I knew if this case wasn't closed soon this would become a routine thing I did. I'm not really a crier so it feels wrong to. It felt like I'd been in here forever. Maybe it has been. I splash water on my face for a few minutes despite the fact that just a few seconds would've been fine. When I walk out of the bathroom and into the locker room Angela is there. "you've been in the bathroom for like 20 are you alright?"
"Yeah fine I just don't feel well," which isn't wrong. I feel horrible. I could see some emotion in her eyes but I had no idea what. She nods and walks off. That was weird but whatever. I checked the time. 5:31. I was about to walk out when I remembered that I hadn't finished paperwork, so I went to my locker and grabbed it. I just did it using the folder as a clip board sitting on a bench in the locker room because I knew it wouldn't take me long at all.
I was correct, and done in 11 minutes. I put the papers down and got changed into uniform, then picked them up again before going to turn them to Grey's office. As I was leaving I bumped into Jackson.
"Lucy! Where've you been? The only time I saw you yesterday was roll call, and you weren't home this morning? Have you even been home?"
"Yeah sorry I've been at work alot the past few days because of the case, I did come home last night just late, we gotta get to roll call" I say as I point to the room with people starting to gather. We walk in together, and take our seats. I'm not much time Grey walks in with some papers in hand. "First things first we got a BOLO on Henry Scott for several felonies." He hands papers to the front row and there we pass them back.
"A lot has happened regarding Rosalind Dyer yesterday and we have 4 stations, being Ours, Beverly Hills, West Hollywood, and Culver City." I zone out. 4 stations and it's the 6th and we still haven't found the killer and someone could die and if it's not me I can't live with that. I need to find this killer. Jackson taps my shoulder "you good? Roll calls over," he says and we stand up and walk out. "I've gotta go find Stanton but first you're alright? I know the case and all is taking a toll but I mean as well as you can be?"
"Yeah I'm handling it pretty well, thanks for checking in on me but I've also gotta go have a good day!" The only truth there was that I hope he has a good day. Tim passes by and waves me over to him. "Chen, grey wants to talk to you" he says as I walk over to him.
"Alright I'll go see him"
I nod and walk to grey's office.
"Hello? Tim said you needed to see me?"
"Yes, hello officer Chen I'd like to talk to you about some concerns regarding your hours, and co-workers concerns, but to start you keep spacing out in roll call. You have to be 100% for this job. I know that the case being reopened is surely a lot on you but if you can't even focus in roll call how am I supposed to trust your fine on the streets?"
"Sargent grey, I can assure you I'm doing just fine on the streets, and I can't deny that the case is affecting me but I won't let it impact my work. What did you mean co-workers concerns?"
What if Tim told him that I was being spacey at work yesterday and he doesn't let me work. Or what if Angela said that I was overworking myself. Or, maybe Jackson said something about me not being home, or maybe Nyla, she found me so out of it yesterday morning.
"A co-worker mentioned your spacey and a little withdrawn, and I need that to stop. I know the case is stressful but you're a police officer and I cannot stress enough how important it is that you're not out of it. If you can't do that you know I can and will put you on desk duty."
It was probably Tim.
"Yes sir"
"Along with that your hours, 17 hours? Even though we're approving overtime to work on this case, 5 hours on the case on-top of a 12 hour shift on patrol is a lot, I'd like to make sure you don't go over 14 for the time being."
"Yes sir, is that all?"
"I told Tim to use his judgement on if you're safe for the streets, if not it's desk duty, and yes, that's all, you can go."
"Thank you sir" I say as I turn to the doors. Tim was not far from the office. We walk together and set up the shop in what feels like record time. All I can think about is making sure that I don't miss anything. I read every street sign despite being extremely familiar with the area. I can't miss anything. I have to be 100%. I look around at the cars, the people, in the windows of stores.
We finally get a call, for a home invasion.