The Girl In The Mirror

Chapter 5

Tonight is the perfect night for a glass (bottle) of wine and a book. 

Theo and I talked for probably an hour at the food court. Well, I talked and he sat there and listened. I told him about the breakfast I had with my brother. About how i was upset about the fact that my brother thought the ten year anniversary of our fathers death was important to me. He sat there and listened to me explain why I didn't care, and nodded his head like he understood. That's impossible though. I have been called unreasonable and cold over my lack of compassion for my fathers death. After I vomited all over him, he asked for my number, for work purposes of course. I gave it to him and he walked away telling me it was nice to have a real conversation and not a forced interaction. He’s a strange guy, still can’t put my finger on why I find him so interesting. My phone buzzes, breaking my thoughts apart. 

T: For the record. I wouldn’t forgive him either.

It was Theo, maybe he did actually understand. My phone buzzes again

T: Maybe we can get together tomorrow? I enjoyed talking to you.

T: I find you…interesting

I sent a thumbs up, gave him my address and told him to come over around noon tomorrow. I know, I know. I basically just gave a complete stranger my address, havent i learned anything from my podcasts? Clearly not.

“Let me in!” 

“Open this damn door”

I'm hiding under my bed praying for him to go away. I don’t understand how he found me. I’ve done everything I can think of to keep him away from finding me. I changed my number, changed my email, I even moved to a new town. But he was here, at my door. Threatening to break the door down and kill me if I didn’t let him in.

“You know this is all because of you. You deserve all of this”

I heard the door being kicked off its hinges, he was coming for me. 

I opened my eyes slowly and shifted them to my front door, I was safe. I had fallen asleep on my couch. It takes me a minute to remember that it was just another nightmare. I didn’t know what time it was, but it was still dark. Which meant I was definitely going back to sleep, or at least I was going to try. I wrapped myself in my blanket and rolled over on the couch and closed my eyes.

My eyes flew open when I heard the knocking on my door. It wasn’t a hard or furious knock, but still definitely woke me up and got my heart rate up. I looked at my phone for the time and was surprised to see that it was almost noon. It took me a minute to remember that Theo was planning on coming over, now. 

“I’m coming. Hold on” I yell loud enough that he can hear me on the other side of the door. I didn’t want to answer the door for a couple reasons, mainly because I needed to brush my teeth. The other reason was because I just simply wasn’t awake enough to carry on a full conversation at the moment. But I didn't want to be rude and leave him waiting too long, I had no idea how long he had been knocking anyway. 

I open the door and standing there is definitely Theo, but what seems to be the softer side of him. His eyes softer, a look on his face as if he’s lost. Not the cocky and confident man I had come to recognize every time I looked at him. 

“Were you sleeping?” He asks with a little grin “Crazy night last night or something?” He jokes with me. I can tell he's taking in my appearance. My hair is up in a messy bun, probably even messier now than when I put it up last night. A pair of shorts and an oversized t shirt that reads ‘yes, this is my sleep shirt’

“Uh, something like that” remembering the nightmare that woke me up. “Go ahead and make yourself comfortable, i'm gonna go change real quick”

When I made my way back into the living room, Theo was standing in front of my bookshelf holding a worn out copy of my favorite book. He looked over at my and held it up “This looks like its been well read”

“It's my favorite book. I read it a couple times a year.” 

“It is definitely one of the best books I've read as well.”

“You read?” I asked, completely shocked

“Not as much as it appears you do, but I do have a few books that I have read over and over.”

I walked over to the couch, suddenly very nervous. Theo is the first person I've had in my apartment. Except for Brinks and Mike, but they don't count because it was just to help me move in. It may just be my imagination, but he seems to be nervous too. 

“Do you want me to order some food or something?” I ask, trying to break the uncomfortable silence. A small smile spreads over his face.

“You hate silence don’t you?” He asks while looking over my books. 

“No, I don't hate silence. I sit in silence all the time, I do live alone after all.”

He nods his head in an understanding way. “Do you see your books as an escape or just something to pass the time?”

I had no idea how to answer that question. I guess I had never really given it much thought. I started reading as a child and never really stopped, I have always loved reading. But do I use it as an escape? No. I don’t have anything to escape from, reading is just a hobby.

“We could order a pizza if you want. I’ll pay” He says, not even giving me a chance to answer out loud.

“Sure, pizza sounds good.” 

We order the pizza, and somehow move past the uncomfortableness of the first part of his visit. We continue on for the next hour talking about an array of different topics. It felt natural, like we had known each other for years. It felt good, like I was making a new friend. 

That night I went to bed with a genuine smile on my face for the first time. Talking to Theo was just so easy, once we got past the awkwardness. He is very intelligent, and he thinks outside the box, very much has an ‘I don’t care’ mentality that I am almost positive is a defense mechanism. The rest of the day was just a quiet lazy day, which is exactly what I needed. Yes, I think things are finally starting to look up for me.