Nobody Knows, But You

Choices

Yahya

My grandma was like Aunt Tiff—fierce and passionate. She was the magnet that held our scattered family together. Grandma made sure that her children and grandchildren visited her in Morocco -or Qatar as she frequently alternated her stays- at least once a year, bringing the family together. She was the reason our family felt like a family despite the distance.

But now she was gone. And I feared the bond she worked so hard to create would vanish with her too.

When I thought that, I was underestimating my grandma. When she left us, it was only after she had ensured that our scattered family didn't scatter away any further.

Her funeral was held in Qatar. Many of my Uncles, Aunts, cousins, and second cousins had come from all over the globe. Some missed the funeral prayer and rituals. But they still came. I guess, for Grandma, that would have mattered the most. 

Most of them left within a week or two. 

I made up my mind about attending a university in Doha. It wasn't a spur-of-the-moment decision; I had been contemplating it all along. Grandma's passing only confirmed it. Sure, I will miss the life I had known for the past years, but I also knew this decision had been looming around the corner for long enough. During dinner one day, I casually mentioned to the adults that I'd be staying in Doha and not returning with Aunt Tiff, expecting no grand reactions. We were still mourning, and nothing felt significant enough to warrant a fuss.

Even if I have just decided to turn away from the life I have known for the past six years.

As the days went by silently and quickly, Aunt Tiff and her family started to pack things up to return. 

One day, while I was sitting on my bed, lost in thought after Isha prayer, Aunt Tiff and Mom visited me.

"You know, Yahya," Aunt Tiff said, standing beside Mom at the door to my bedroom. Both of them looked exactly how one would describe a person who had just lost their remaining parent. Tear-strained eyes, puffy cheeks, and a distant gaze.

Yet they had come here to make my big decision feel heard. 

"I always knew you'd choose to stay here. I mean, I would have been very disappointed if you had decided to stay away from your parents for even longer."She said, with half a smile. 

They both entered my room. "You made the right choice, kiddo."

"I hope so," I murmured.

Mom sat next to me on the edge of the bed, taking hold of my hand, and Aunt Tiff sat on the office chair across.

"Yahya," Mom said, her voice soft with emotion, "I want you to know something important. Right now, you may feel hesitant about leaving behind the routine you have gotten used to. To leave behind your friends. But you made the right choice, honey. It's time for you to start building your future, to settle down." She paused. Her gaze was distant again. "Life is very fragile and short, it will always be too late when we grasp the reality of it." It was clear as day that she was now talking about Grandma. 

"Your parents need you now, especially after losing Grandma." Aunt Tiff added. "Being closer to them will bring you comfort and strength. And I know it will be a great comfort for them to have you here too." 

A moment of silence went on. Then I realized both my mom and aunt were crying. Tears silently rolled down both their faces. Seeing that made my throat get lumpy.

The moment went on like this until Tiff stood up and said, "I have to go get ready to leave tomorrow," then she sighed, saying, "Morning flight." 

Tiff hated those. Six years of being raised by her, and she had never missed an opportunity to point that out.