TNT Short Fics

The Year of Yes - Part 4

Saying yes to joy

June 2023

The rain coming down is a touch too dramatic for her mood today.

Home for a few days between Detroit and Pittsburgh, she has been chastised by her entire team and parents to lay low, rest, and shake off the last dregs of the cold she's been nursing all week. However, she is restless—itching to move. She has already tried to see if Jack wants to go into the studio to work. But he has wedding-planning things, so she's on her own.

And isn't that a minefield of a place to be these days?

The past few months have been some of the highest highs and lowest lows. Highs of reconnecting with fans across the country and with her friends. And the lows of a heartbreak that, no matter how much it was needed, still flattened her. And then there was the...what the fuck ever she thought she was doing last month in the name of feeling something...anything at all. Not her best moment.

The last several weeks have brought her back to her senses and they've also brought clarity around her feelings on the end of her six-year relationship. The ones she has been shoving down and avoiding.

It is hard and sad and a little embarrassing to suddenly be living these feelings for everyone to see. But it is also freeing too. To just put herself out there—flaws and pain and healing—after being so closed off for so long. She is finally living as she needs to, embracing herself.

And what she realizes is that the sadness and the grief she feels aren't really for the loss of love. She grieved that months ago. She made peace with it a year ago, maybe more. No, it is for all the time she has lost. And there is anger too—at Joe, but also directed at herself for not making herself a priority. For not listening to her inner voice and her intuition sooner. Maybe that isn't fair or maybe it is. It is something she's working through with her shiny new therapist, which she has also acquired in the last couple of months. As well as in the new album slowly but surely taking shape.

Taylor leaves her spot in front of the window, deciding that being maudlin isn't getting her anywhere. She wanders the kitchen, stooping to pet Olivia, who is occupying her favorite spot in front of the refrigerator. Straightening up, she glances at the photos displayed across the front of the appliance. Photos of friends and family. A few from secret sessions with fans. And a ton of the cats. Her fingers trace across the images of happy moments, stopping on one—a photo from Holiday House of her and Gigi and Cara with sparklers. Smiles wide on their faces.

She wants that happiness back. Wants to know that she's doing things for herself that bring her joy. That brings joy to the people she loves with her. She is going to start making time to celebrate with her friends and just be in the present. Yes, all these feelings will still be here. Yes, she'll still work through them. But she is not putting the chance for that joy with her people to the side anymore. She might miss out on the most important moments of her life if she doesn't embrace the messy, imperfect now.

She goes back to the window seat to grab her phone. An Independence Day celebration with her fellow independent girls? Seems like just the perfect place to start.

*****

"Selena! Where is the corkscrew?"

"Wait, why is Austin still here, didn't we kick all the boys out?"

"Who the fuck ate my cupcake?"

Looking around, she is surrounded by some of her favorite people and they are having the loudest, rowdiest, best time. There has been sun and gossip and beer pong and shit-talking of exes—her best Fourth of July party yet. And here late at night, when everyone but her best of friends are off to bed and they have drunk a little too much wine, she feels the peace she has been looking for these past two years. She feels free; she feels bold.

This spurs her on to climb onto the dining table, and the girls laugh. Some reach to hold on to her and keep her steady. She raises the champagne bottle she's holding above her head.

"A toast! To the best and baddest of friends a girl could ever have," she says, looking around. "I love all of you. Thank you for being patient with me. I know I was a little lost there for a while."

Each and every one of them reaches out and lays a hand on her, grounding her. She can't help the tears that fall, but they are happy tears.

Gigi raises her glass in return.

"To Taylor, the best person we know. We will never leave you behind." She wipes a tear that's fallen on her cheek before she shouts, "And to all of us—here's to single girl summer! We don't need no fucking men!"

"We're not taking any shit from any man!" Taylor yells in return. And they all join in with a cheer.

Selena can't help but pipe in, "But if one of the few good ones shows up, maybe we'll be open to it!"

Taylor just laughs. 

Authors Note: It's not directly quoted in the fic, but this quote from Year of Yes inspired this chapter: "Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tells you to."

Fun fact: single girl summer did not last long for most of the single girls in that 4th of July photo. So don't worry...someone shows up in the next chapter.