Never Fade From Me (The Life & Times of River Song & The Doctor)

From Here to Eternity

River felt cold all over and her heart was racing with something between fear and suspense she hadn't expected to feel, how was that possible when she was supposed to be dead? In the virtual reality world, when she had first arrived, she had felt strangely euphoric and untouchable, her soul soaring and full of love but over time that feeling had slowly diminished when she realized she would not be seeing her Doctor again.

"My Doctor..."

Without knowing what she was doing, River spoke, it was strange to hear her broken voice as it ached with longing into a black void. River's hurt sunk, what if something had gone wrong and she had not escaped the virtual world? Then her thoughts transported her back to the time when she awoke in the greatest hospital in the Universe after using up her remaining regenerations to bring the Doctor back to life. Only this time the feeling was more like waking up from a long, dreamless sleep. Then suddenly, the coldness began to subside as a warmth enveloped River, bodily sensations returned as she came to the realization that she might not be surrounded by darkness after all if she could only find the courage to open her eyes. River lay still for a while listening to her breath until she realized that someone else was breathing along with her but that was nothing to the moment when she became aware that someone was holding her in their arms, then a hand began to gently stroke her face, brushing away her hair. And River did not need to open her eyes to know it was the Doctor.

"Stay with me River...It will pass."

The Doctor's low, still voice was full of compassion, threaded with relief but above all River could feel his love. On Trenzalore he had been so sad and distant but this was the Doctor of old, River's Doctor. She wondered how long it had been since that day, though her thoughts soon returned to her first concern and whether this was real or some cruel trick of her mind as it shut down and prepared for death. But as soon as River heard the Doctor's voice she desperately needed to see his face as her eyes finally flicked open. River let out an almighty gasp. It was the most miraculous and impossible event of River's entire existence but the Doctor was here. The Doctor was here and it seemed he had saved her... It was almost too much to comprehend as his beautiful green eyes burnt into hers, overflowing with concern but then his long face crinkled into that shy, hesitant smile of his as he spoke softly with something of his old, playful tone.

"Hi honey...I'm home."

"And what sort of time do you call this?"

River never imagined she would be saying those words again and without thinking about it, she had instinctively replied with lightning speed, while all the time her head spun with confusion and whether or not she wanted to slap or kiss him first while she lay in the Doctor's arms. Whatever this was supposed to be and wherever she was... But the child of the TARDIS would know the control room anywhere, even if it was darker, a more mechanical version and like something you would expect the interior of a time machine to be but it wasn't the TARDIS River knew and loved.

"You've redecorated..." River gazed around the control room, unwilling to hide her disappointment. "I don't like it."

Then it seemed the TARDIS had heard its child as the room shimmered all around them and rearranged into the shiny, bronze, colourful control room with the gently bobbing glass blown time rotor at the centre of the console. It all felt familiar to River and had always reminded her of something from a fairy tale but River knew it was real and the TARDIS had never looked so beautiful, nor so majestic as she felt the slippery, cool glass flooring beneath her body, River's gaze was suddenly drawn to the ceiling, it shone more brightly than she remembered as her eyes flickered over the typewriter, the taps and the gramophone speaker upon the console which was littered with the most surreal and faintly ridiculous bric-a-brac buttons and levers but she knew what each and every one did as River heard her TARDIS softly breathing in the background and suddenly had a great desire to fly her again. But it was only a brief distraction as her thoughts returned to the Doctor, wondering how her thoughts could wander when the Doctor was in the room... Without a word spoken between them, the Doctor suddenly lifted River deftly from the floor and she was standing again but she was aware of his arm around her slender waist, so thrillingly aware as she placed her hand upon the small of his back, not that she was planning on falling again anytime soon but it was a necessity for both of them to remain physically close. River looked at the Doctor again and couldn't believe what she was seeing, to actually be standing with him in the TARDIS, she was used to the impossible, the odd miracle, after all she had watched the Doctor pull off amazing things so many times but this was something else, she couldn't get her head around it, maybe because she was at the heart of it, suddenly she felt such a child as she gazed into his ancient eyes.