Zustin - A new start

You look like shit

Justin's POV:

I wake up with a headache, I feel like my eyes have been ripped out and stitched back in, my mouth is dry and I'm so fucking hungry. I try to get up, but then a sudden ache in my back comes to life. Fuck, I totally forgot about that.

I managed to stand up, and I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. I look like hell. My neck and chest is filled with hickeys that Luke left.

I take a shower, trying to rinse off the previous evening.

I wanna be with you
I wanna be with you
I wanna be with you

Zayns words are echoing in my head.

He was drunk, he didn't mean it. He has already shown who he is when he's sober, and that's not someone I want.

But he's scared of coming out. Fuck he's in the same situation I was in. The most popular guy at school, all the girls wants to be with him. Most guys wants to be him.

That used to be me.

And it changed in the matter of seconds, all because of me being gay. And now I'm judging him for not wanting to end up just like me? Fuck. But I would never pull anyone down with me. I would never ever do that. I wouldn't sink another person just for myself to rise. And I would've never used that words as something that awful.

I don't know what to feel. Or what to do. I want to help him through it, I want to be with him.

No I don't. I have Luke. Luke's nice. Luke's amazing really. But he's not Zayn.

I start to feel like the worst person in this world, did I use Luke just to try to get over Zayn? No. I wouldn't have. I really wanted to have sex with him yesterday, it had nothing to do with Zayn. But I'm not sure I would have done it if I was sober. Or if I want to do it again. Fuck.

I get out of my room and I see Harry and Louis sleeping in the couch. Or well, Louis is. Most of Harry's long body is hanging down on the floor. I laugh. I don't remember even coming home last night. More than 2 years without alcohol really took a toll on me.

I freeze when I hear someone in the kitchen. I walk over there to see Luke, he's looking worse than me. He's swallowing a pill, I assume painkillers, while drinking a glass of water.

"Fuck I'm hungover" Luke says when he sees me.

"No kidding, you can at least walk." I say limping towards the cabinets to grab a glass.

"Damn sorry dude, yeah that's on me I guess" he laughs.

I'm trying to think if I should talk about yesterday, and how I feel. But I don't wanna upset him. I don't get to continue my thoughts before Luke talks again.

"So. Justin. Yesterday was amazing. Like really amazing. You're fucking incredible, and you're such a great person and fuck you're hot. But I'm really not looking for a relationship type of situation. I'm not really over my ex, and I met him yesterday after I went out of the bedroom. And we talked a lot and it just made me realize that I still love him. And I feel so bad, because as I said you are amazing and how you made me feel yesterday was just, wow. And now I'm just drifting away. I hope you don't think I took advantage of you because you were drunk. Because I really didn't." Luke says speaking softly.

"Oh god I'm so happy hearing you say that Luke you have no idea." I say while letting go of a deep breath I was holding.

"I feel the same way. You're actually way too amazing for me. And however crazy I might sound now, I think I'm in love with that idiot who barged in on us last night." I add feeling a little embarrassed on Zayn'a behalf.

"I kinda understood that. I've met him a few times, he's cool when he's not drunk. Just make sure he treats you right Justin, sober as well as drunk. Okay?" Luke tells me.

I hug him. "Thank you, I will"

A few hours later, everyone has left, Harry needed to be carried out by Louis and Luke, he was still wasted.

I go to pick up Noelle, she's napping when I get there so I get help to place her in her stroller and she keeps on sleeping, when we arrive hike in place her in her bed, thinking I'll let her sleep an hour.
I look at my phone, so many missed calls and texts from Zayn.

"Wanna come over?" I text him. Not really knowing if I want him to or not.

"Yes. I'll be there in 1 hour. Thank you." Zayn replies to me, not even a minute after I sent my message.

I make myself some food while waiting for him, I pay some bills and make a list of what groceries we're gonna need for the upcoming week. I hear knocks on the door and I go open. Zayn is standing there. If I thought me and Luke looked like hell, then Zayn looks like he's been trapped down there for an eternity.

"Come in" I say stepping away from the door so he can come in.
"You look like shit" I tell him once he's taking it his shoes.