The Fling (N.H.)

Chapter 6 - Niall

Song Recommendation:
Let Her Go by Passenger

Ana...

Such a small name but it had the ability to flip my world upside down. She's been taking up my mind for the past three years. Now, that the universe gave us both a chance to see each other, I realise how much I fucked up. I can still see the pain I caused her, she ain't healed.

Ever since we arrived here, Amy's been acting wierd. She ignores me completely. She only talks to me before we fall asleep and that too, is cut short. Truth be told, we both are not happy in this relationship. The spark that once was is no longer there. I've already tried breaking up with her twice, but for some reason, she is not ready. Also, who would want to throw away six years of dating just because they didn't feel the spark?

Is that really the reason you wanted to break up?

So now, even if I wanted to, I can't end things.

Oh Ana....How badly I missed her! She held my hand at that time in life, when I had no hope left. She was indeed my light at the end of the tunnel. My love for Amy was so blinding that I didn't see the love Ana gave me. The way she always got my back when I was wasted. The way she tries to brighten up my mood whenever I shut off. The way she jerks whenever she's caught off guard. The way her cheeks turn pink whenever I catch her staring at me. The way she melted in my kiss. The way her soft lips felt against mine. I missed everything. Till today, I don't really know what made her run away. It was just a breakup. Or maybe it was me and my cold heart that shattered her's like a bullet through a glass.

Right now, years later, seeing her standing right in front of me, acting like she's moved on from me, but also fighting everything in her to not spare a glance, hurts the shit out of me. It kills me to know that I messed around with the feelings of this fragile girl. There's this quote, 'You never know what you had until you let it go,"and Ana made me realise how deep that quote could get. I don't know what got into me when I asked her out back in 2019. I never intended to hurt her, I was just treating it like another casual relationship.The whole time, Ana was being honest and truthful, but I, on the other hand, was playing her like she was a puppet. I lied to her about a lot of things, got what I wanted and finally broke her heart.

The first day when Jenna introduced Ana to us, I saw this spark in her eyes when she shook my hand. She smiled at me differently. I started noticing that Ana, is being different with me. Whenever I'm around, she sits up properly and talks very politely. Once, I found her staring at Me and Amy, when were making out in the Club. At the beginning, I thought she's just another obsessed fan, but that spark in her eyes never disappeared until the time I completely erased it.

13th September, 2020
(Niall's birthday the year Ana left him)

"Happy Birthday, Niall." Amy kissed me as she handed over a wrapped up box. I sigh as I unwrap it to find out it was a car key. I just stared blankly at Amy and held the car key in my hands, expecting some explanation. She gave me smile and led me out the door. There was a brand new black Mercedes 700 standing in my driveway. I bring up a small smile on my face and mumble a 'Thank You."

It's been two months since Amy and I got back together, meaning, 3 months since I broke a delicate heart, 2 months since the said person totally vanished. I don't know why I couldn't cherish her like before though. This was all I wanted. To get back with Amy and start fresh. But, whenever I close my eyes to kiss her, Ana's face is the one in my mind. She's been haunting me ever since her abrupt and mysterious departure.

I don't even know where she is. She just left after her Finals without saying goodbye. 'You did not deserve it' my mind says, but atleast she should've told the other guys about her whereabouts. She just disappeared. She changed her number, deleted all her social media handles and disappeared. She did not even attend her graduation party. She always talked about how excited she was.

I kinda miss her. I miss the Love she gave me. I miss all her texts. Her eyes, her voice, everything. I really want to see her again. I will definitely make things right. I know what I did is unforgivable but now I want to make it right.

All I need is just a chance.

All I need is just her.

As we broke apart from the kiss, Amy looks me in the eyes, nervously, while I look at her with a cold expression, something that remained permanently ever since Ana disappeared. I was being cold to everyone, pushing everyone aside when Amy broke up with me last year. But, Ana found a way inside the iceberg and slowly started to melt it with the amount of sunshine radiating from her love. Ever since her departure, I turned into this Cold person again.

"You love her." With that Amy walked to her car and drove away.

Yes, I love her. I didn't know I did until I let her go. I know I'm totally fucked up, but it's only her who can fix me.

It's always been her, I was just too blind to see.

I look at Ana who is sitting on the opposite chair from me, a large table of food between us. We all are having dinner and Louis and Jenna are bickering about her wedding dress. Apparently, Jenna wants her wedding dress to be a surprise for everyone, even Louis, and he is not ready to accept that.

"Ana is the only one who's seen my dress. She's the luckiest bitch." Jenna slurs taking another sip of her Beer.

Louis glares at Ana. "Well 'luckiest bitch', why don't you show me the dress before I come out with that Little secret of yours?" Louis smirks and Ana throws a napkin on his face with wide eyes.

"Louis, stop acting like a child. You're 30 and when are you planning to drill that in your head?" Ana says, annoyed, as she throws daggers with her eyes at Louis.

Louis flips her off with his hand and turns to me.
"Well, I think the bridesmaid is not really a good one, my best man will never throw a napkin at my fiancè. Is that right, Niall?" I look at Ana, Jenna and Louis, nod slightly before digging in my spaghetti again.

"Best Man" I hear someone mumbling under their breath and a scoff followed by it. I look to my left and find the person to whom the voice belongs. Amy has her eyebrows furrowed as she's eating not bothering to look up from her plate. I frown knowing very well, what she meant.

"Why are you acting like this?" I whisper harshly so no one could hear us.

"So the problem is me now. I told you, I never wanted to come to this wedding. You think I don't see what you're doing?" She says this a little too loud and I feel everyone's eyes on me.

I look at them and say, "Guys, I'm sorry she's just-" before I get to finish, Amy abruptly stands up looking at me.

"Niall, I can't do this anymore." She shakes her head as threw her napkin on the table. "I can't deal with your pathetic ass. If you still love her, why are you leading me on? I have a life." With that she walks away crying. I just look at her feeling too amused to utter a word. This is the second time she's said that I love Ana.

It is kinda true that I love her. I've always loved her. It's just Time that decided to play tricks on me and made me realise it too late. Ever since the day I heard the news of her departure, I've been praying to spend at least five minutes with her. But, now that she really is in front of me, five days aren't doesn't seem to cease. She's so close to me yet so far away.

After Amy disappeared from my view, I turn my head to Ana and find her already looking at me, her eyes filled with tears but she doesn't let them fall. As soon as I look at her, she flicks her eyes down to her food and starts eating like nothing happened.

I did find that pink on her cheeks though...