Chocolate Toast, Remus Lupin

Again and Again and Again

Avery sat in front of the mirror again. She watched as her parents sat beside her. The first month of the term had gone by and every night Avery could come to the room, work on homework, and stare at her parents. Every night she'd get back to the common room and Lily would ask where she had been, and every time Avery answered with a lie.

"The library."

"The willow tree."

"The black lake."

"I feel like I never see you anymore, Avery."

"I'm sorry, I just want to be ahead of my studies is all."

"Maybe I can join you one night?"

"I'm sorry Lily, I'd rather be alone."

Every night was the same, a secret meeting, a lie, a frown from her friend, and a certain werewolf watching as Avery appeared and disappeared on the seventh floor.

Avery had her hand against the mirror, her mother's hand was across from hers. She stared into her mother's green eyes and frowned. "Why can't you be here?" Avery moved her eyes to her father who smiled. His brown eyes matched hers and her frown grew.

"Why can't you both just be-" Avery stopped. She turned quickly as she heard a rumbling outside of the door. "Shit!" The girl stood and ran to hide behind a pillar.

She heard footsteps and held her breath. "Avery?" She felt as if her blood went cold. "Avery I know you're in here."

She stayed hidden and moved herself closer to the wall. She heard the footsteps grow closer and Remus appeared in front of her. "Why are you hiding?"

Avery stepped forward. "I'm not. You are." She ran around Remus and grabbed her bag quickly.

"Avery!" The Ravenclaw ran out of the room and turned down one of the abandoned corridors. She heard Remus' footsteps getting closer and looked around for a place to hide. "Avery!"

She tried the door for one of the rooms but it didn't open, she tried the next one but it was locked too. "Dear Merlin Avery. When did you get so fast?" Remus stood beside the girl and she jumped. She moved to get around him but he grabbed her wrist. "Why are you running?"

"I'm not. You're the one out of breath, you're the one running."

"Let's take a walk." Remus held out his hand, hesitantly Avery took it. "You know, this summer was shit. I didn't realize how much I enjoyed your company until we couldn't talk."

"I was okay with it."

Remus dropped the girl's hand as they reached the courtyard. "Really?"

Avery couldn't meet his eyes. "Yeah."

"Then look at me and say it."

"No."

Remus took in a breath. "Avery, I want to help, I want to be here but you need to let me be here."

"You don't have to. You don't have to waste your time on me."

"Dear God. Avery, I have never met someone who holds so much confidence and self-doubt all at the same time."

Avery looked up and scowled. "What."

"You hold yourself with so much confidence, every time you walk these halls you hold your head up high. Most people see you as a spoiled rich girl because you seem like a snob. But hidden under it all you're like a kicked, abandoned puppy."

"I am not a kicked, abandoned puppy."

"Oh, but you'll agree that you're a spoiled rich brat?"

"I'd rather be seen as a rich brat than a weak puppy!"

"So that's why you won't talk to us? Why you hide away like this? You don't want us to see what we already know is there?"

"Stop. Stop it, Remus."

"No. Avery listen to what you're saying and listen to what I am saying. For once can you just fucking listen to the truth?"

"You don't know me! You don't fucking know me!"

"I know you more than you realize. I know that you won't let people in because you're scared they won't like what they see! You're scared everyone will leave!"

"Stop!"

"Last year I thought you were finally letting down some walls, I thought maybe, just maybe, you'd really let us in. I was following what you did! I thought you were brave, Avery. I thought since you were letting people in maybe I could too! Was I wrong though? Was I truly wrong about you Avery?!"

"Shut up!" Avery pushed the boy away, "Shut up, shut up!"

Remus stumbled back. A wave of realization hit him. "Dear Merlin. Avery, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He started to step forward.

"No! Don't come near me. Don't take another step." Avery looked up and felt her eyes watering.

"Avery."

"Stop, just stop Remus." She took in a breath and tried to calm herself but failed. "Don't talk to me anymore okay? Don't even come near me." Remus watched as she walked down the corridor and out towards the black lake.

"Fuck."